Motherhood is not a Job

by Mindi Popovich-Schneider, Saint Emmelia Ministries Assistant Director

Lately, I’ve noticed a trend that I find a little troubling–what I can really only call “the commodification of parenthood.” As far as I can tell, this trend started with very good intentions, springing from the idea that stay-at-home moms in particular are undervalued, as evidenced when comparing their workload to a full-time job. Over the past year or so, however, I think this discourse has gotten out of hand. I can’t count the number of posts that are recommended to me across social media channels that feature comments about dads “solo parenting” while mom is running errands, moms calling themselves “HR manager,” or parents “clocking in for the closing shift” before putting kids to bed.

If I had to guess, I would say that there are two sources of this language trend. The first is that, thanks to social media, everything is commodified. If something can be described in corporate language, it almost certainly will be—probably because of the way that the minutiae of everyday life has become an income stream for content creators. Of course that would trickle down into the parenting corners of the internet: these influencers are making money off of documenting their “work” as parents. Second, I think this trend indicates a general lack of purpose in parenthood. Without clear goals, of course the natural end is to commodify parenting: there is nothing that sets it apart from any other use of our time, and our time is most valuable in the language of money.

To be clear, I think there can be positive applications of this type of language: as moms (especially stay-at-home and homeschooling moms), there can be a lot of guilt around feeling tired or burnt out. Comparing homemaking and parenting to a 40 hour job might help with that guilt. Or it might help ease tensions around mismatched expectations between spouses or in-laws. I’m not saying we need to totally do away with this language. I do think, however, that it might be doing some damage to our relationship with the concept of motherhood–and indeed, parenthood more broadly.

The reality is that motherhood is not a job. It’s something deeper. It’s biological. Despite the cute TikToks or Instagram Reels that suggest otherwise, you can’t clock out to go do a Target run. You don’t work shifts. You can change your profession, but you cannot change that you are a parent. You are a mother (or father) all the time. Your responsibilities don’t disappear because your kids are not with you in a given moment.

Our goal is to raise children who love and serve Christ and therefore those around them. That means that even when we are not doing the direct work of parenting, like feeding, cleaning, or disciplining children, we still have work to do. In the times that we are not with our children physically, we still have a spiritual responsibility–a responsibility to direct every moment of our lives towards service to God so that we are better-equipped to teach our children to do the same. Then, we should be praying for our children in every moment possible. 

Household chores can feel like a mundane, neverending task, especially for someone like me, who is not very domestic or naturally maternal. But they are all in service of the job that we can never clock out from: helping point our children to heaven and trusting Christ to get them–and us–there. 

So, what’s the point of saying all this? It is, I hope, to encourage you in the same way that I myself often need to be encouraged. Even when motherhood feels like a slog, even when it feels like you’re “clocking in” to clean the kitchen or wash the same clothes that you washed two days ago, remember that this is not your job. This is your holy work. This is your gift of sanctification. 

Listening Well

by Londyn, SEM Intern

I used to feel insecure about my quiet nature. I would watch others lead, speak, shine—commanding rooms with their charisma, weaving words into influence—and I would wonder if my presence was enough. I would sit in conversations, not always knowing what to say, but deeply feeling the weight of someone else’s words. And I would ask myself: is this a gift, or just passivity dressed up as virtue? Is my silence meaningful, or merely a void?

In a world that prizes visibility, volume, and velocity, quietness can feel like a flaw. We are taught to equate worth with productivity, impact with noise, and leadership with dominance. But Orthodoxy has a way of answering questions we did not know how to ask. It does not rush to fill silence with sound. It does not confuse stillness with stagnation. It teaches us that love is not always loud and that healing often comes through stillness. 

Throughout the life of the Church, there have been saints whose holiness was revealed not through eloquence, but through silence. St. Silouan the Athonite, for example, lived in quiet prayer and deep humility, offering his heart to God in stillness and tears. St. Mary of Egypt, after her dramatic conversion, spent decades in the desert in complete solitude, her repentance echoing loud. St. Seraphim of Sarov greeted visitors with radiant peace, often saying little but emanating divine love. These saint’s lives are icons of the truth that stillness can be the most powerful witness of grace.

When we listen, we echo Christ’s descent into our brokenness. We say, “I’m here. I see you, and I won’t run away.” And that presence can be more healing than any advice or solution. Listening is not passive, it is active love. It is spiritual labor and the work of mercy. And yes, it is quiet! And yet, so is the heart that prays in secret. If you have ever felt like your gift is too small, too quiet, too invisible—remember this: Christ was born in a cave. He came in silence. He healed with a touch. He listened to the woman at the well, to the thief on the cross, to the cries of the blind and the broken. And He listens to you. So go ahead, be the listener. Be the quiet one. Be the heart that holds space. You are doing holy work! 

Here are some ideas for growing as a listener:

Put away distractions: Silence your phone, close your tabs, and give your full attention. Presence is the first gift. 

Don’t interrupt: Let their words unfold. Silence does not have to be empty.

Pray before, during, and after: Ask God to help you listen with love, and to bless the person you’ve heard.

Allow pauses: Don’t rush to fill silence–let it breathe!

See Christ in the other: Every person is an icon. Listening becomes an act of reverence.

Staying Motivated Mid-Year

by Londyn, SEM Intern

At any stage of life–high school, college–finishing the school year can feel overwhelming with the demands of education, family, friends, social life, and our faith. Balancing these aspects can be challenging, but with thoughtful strategies, you can manage your time effectively and stay motivated. Here are some tips on time management, balancing responsibilities, staying motivated, and the importance of exercise and the outdoors! I believe that with balance we can bring ourselves more peace in life. 

Time Management Tips

Time management is crucial, especially during the busy end-of-year period. Start by making a list of everything you need to do and rank these tasks by importance and deadlines. Focus on completing the most critical tasks first, avoiding the stress of last-minute rushes. Planning your day, including specific times for studying, family activities, and breaks, helps allocate time effectively. Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps and set achievable goals for each day or week to provide a sense of accomplishment. Avoid procrastination by tackling tasks as soon as they arise and use techniques like the Pomodoro method (working for 25 minutes, then taking a 5-minute break) to maintain focus. Additionally, make time for constant prayer. “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Or, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me for I am weak.”

Balancing Family/Social Life and School Responsibilities

Maintaining a balance between family, social life, and school responsibilities is essential for overall well-being. Communicate with your family and friends about your schedule and commitments to gain their support and understanding. Focus on spending quality time with loved ones, even if it’s just a short period, as meaningful interactions can strengthen relationships and provide emotional support. Consider incorporating social time into your routine, such as study groups with friends or family prayer sessions, to stay connected while fulfilling responsibilities. It’s also crucial to know how to say no when necessary to prevent overcommitting and becoming overwhelmed. Prioritize your well-being and responsibilities over social pressures.

Staying Motivated in School and Mundane Activities

Staying motivated during the final stretch of the school year can be tough. Establish both short-term and long-term goals to give you something to work towards and celebrate your progress and achievements. Remind yourself why your education and activities are important, whether for personal growth, future career opportunities, or making your family proud. Staying connected to your faith by starting and ending your day with prayer can provide strength and perseverance. Try crossing yourself to bless yourself before and after work; whether you are cooking, cleaning, studying, or about to take a test. Take some time to memorize these two prayers: Common Prayers - Before and after any Work - Orthodox Church in America. Adding variety to your routine can also boost motivation, such as changing your study environment or trying different study techniques. Lastly, don’t hesitate to ask for help when needed; reaching out to teachers, family, or friends for support and encouragement can make a significant difference.

Importance of Exercise and the Outdoors in Learning

Physical activity and spending time outdoors play a vital role in overall well-being and academic performance. Regular exercise increases blood flow and oxygen to the brain, enhancing cognitive function and concentration. Activities like walking, running, or playing sports (even without a team, just play with friends or family!) can boost energy levels and improve focus. Physical activity helps reduce stress and anxiety by releasing endorphins, the body’s natural mood elevators. Taking breaks for exercise can help you feel more relaxed and focused when you return to your studies. Studies show that spending time outdoors can improve attention and creativity, making it easier to absorb and retain information. If ever possible, take your study sessions outside to enjoy fresh air and sunlight. Use your time outdoors to appreciate the beauty of the world around you and deepen your connection to God.

As you navigate the final stretch of your school year, remember that balance and faith are your best allies. By managing your time effectively, maintaining a healthy balance between your responsibilities, staying motivated, and prioritizing physical activity and the outdoors, you can finish the school year strong. Keep the Lord at the center of your life, and you’ll find the strength and resilience to overcome any challenges that come your way. God be with you!