Motherhood is not a Job

by Mindi Popovich-Schneider, Saint Emmelia Ministries Assistant Director

Lately, I’ve noticed a trend that I find a little troubling–what I can really only call “the commodification of parenthood.” As far as I can tell, this trend started with very good intentions, springing from the idea that stay-at-home moms in particular are undervalued, as evidenced when comparing their workload to a full-time job. Over the past year or so, however, I think this discourse has gotten out of hand. I can’t count the number of posts that are recommended to me across social media channels that feature comments about dads “solo parenting” while mom is running errands, moms calling themselves “HR manager,” or parents “clocking in for the closing shift” before putting kids to bed.

If I had to guess, I would say that there are two sources of this language trend. The first is that, thanks to social media, everything is commodified. If something can be described in corporate language, it almost certainly will be—probably because of the way that the minutiae of everyday life has become an income stream for content creators. Of course that would trickle down into the parenting corners of the internet: these influencers are making money off of documenting their “work” as parents. Second, I think this trend indicates a general lack of purpose in parenthood. Without clear goals, of course the natural end is to commodify parenting: there is nothing that sets it apart from any other use of our time, and our time is most valuable in the language of money.

To be clear, I think there can be positive applications of this type of language: as moms (especially stay-at-home and homeschooling moms), there can be a lot of guilt around feeling tired or burnt out. Comparing homemaking and parenting to a 40 hour job might help with that guilt. Or it might help ease tensions around mismatched expectations between spouses or in-laws. I’m not saying we need to totally do away with this language. I do think, however, that it might be doing some damage to our relationship with the concept of motherhood–and indeed, parenthood more broadly.

The reality is that motherhood is not a job. It’s something deeper. It’s biological. Despite the cute TikToks or Instagram Reels that suggest otherwise, you can’t clock out to go do a Target run. You don’t work shifts. You can change your profession, but you cannot change that you are a parent. You are a mother (or father) all the time. Your responsibilities don’t disappear because your kids are not with you in a given moment.

Our goal is to raise children who love and serve Christ and therefore those around them. That means that even when we are not doing the direct work of parenting, like feeding, cleaning, or disciplining children, we still have work to do. In the times that we are not with our children physically, we still have a spiritual responsibility–a responsibility to direct every moment of our lives towards service to God so that we are better-equipped to teach our children to do the same. Then, we should be praying for our children in every moment possible. 

Household chores can feel like a mundane, neverending task, especially for someone like me, who is not very domestic or naturally maternal. But they are all in service of the job that we can never clock out from: helping point our children to heaven and trusting Christ to get them–and us–there. 

So, what’s the point of saying all this? It is, I hope, to encourage you in the same way that I myself often need to be encouraged. Even when motherhood feels like a slog, even when it feels like you’re “clocking in” to clean the kitchen or wash the same clothes that you washed two days ago, remember that this is not your job. This is your holy work. This is your gift of sanctification. 

Creating a Culture of Life

by Londyn, Saint Emmelia Ministries Intern

How often do we feel overwhelmed in life? Not only by the endless tasks, obligations, and even things we love to do, but by how our world seems to be full of things that could be done better? Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is the pro-life movement. I recently found out several women in my life are pregnant, and it fills my heart with so much joy! However, it seems almost daily I am bombarded with heartbreaking news from those who don’t support life in the womb. So my question stands: how can we do this better? How can I support the life of babies (while still being a few years from having a family of my own) and inspire others to do the same?

Well, the first thing I can turn to is caring for my siblings. This is pretty expected—I have a big, beautiful family, with three sisters, two brothers, and the littlest one so young we still don’t know if the baby is a brother or sister! What a blessing this is—from my young sibling who is yet to be born, up to my brother who will be fourteen in a few months, I have a lot of opportunities to support the life of the young. But what about outside of the family? How can we support the women who are growing beautiful life inside them?

Some of the first things that come to mind are simply being there for these women: showing love and support locally–such as taking a meal to a woman and her family–donating to local charities (or the large pro-life charities in America, too!), and volunteering directly at pregnancy centers. In our parishes, we can support pregnant women, too. This can include organizing prayer groups, and/or bringing a meal every once in a while to the woman and her family.

I bought a pro-life shirt off Etsy a few months ago, and it is my absolute favorite! I have gotten several compliments on it—in places you’d least expect, too. It is beautiful to be able to make a stranger smile with a reminder that life is precious and we should support it—from the young babies in the womb up to the elderly and wise.

Consider supporting EveryLife, by either donating or purchasing diapers! This is an amazing company that is dedicated to providing essential items for babies and their families. You can buy diapers and wipes and bring them to your local pregnancy center. I know from experience they are always happy to receive a smile and a package of diapers. Recently, I had the opportunity to volunteer at my local pregnancy center. I spent two hours organizing diapers and swapping out the winter and summer clothes in the boutique. I teared up a little bit, knowing the good that these women do for other women was in that exact room I stood in. I prayed continuously, so grateful that the small actions I made could be added up by other women and men by showing love, for the mother, the baby, and the father! Volunteering at the pregnancy center was a beautiful reminder of the impact we can have on our community. It’s not just about the physical tasks we perform, but the love and care we show to others.

In addition to volunteering, there are many other ways to support the pro-life movement. You can participate in pro-life events and marches, such as those organized by OCLife of America, and engage in respectful conversations with those who have different beliefs. Educating yourself and others about the importance of protecting life is crucial. Share information from reputable pro-life organizations. Being pro-life is about more than just opposing abortion; it’s about promoting a generation of life that respects and values every human being, from conception to natural death. It’s about supporting mothers and families, advocating for policies that protect life, and working towards a society where every life is cherished. People of all ages have a unique opportunity to inspire others and make a difference. Your passion and dedication can encourage others to join the movement and support life in their own ways. Remember, every small action counts, and together, we can create a world where every life is valued and protected. Supporting the pro-life movement is a beautiful and fulfilling journey. Whether it’s through volunteering, donating, or simply showing love and support to those around you, every effort makes a difference. Let’s continue to stand together for life and inspire others to do the same.

“Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, and before you were born, I sanctified you. I established you a prophet to the nations.” -Jeremiah 1:5