by Mindi Popovich-Schneider, Saint Emmlia Ministries Assistant
It seems a bit silly for me, of all people, to be writing this blog post. After all, I am not, by nature, a particularly “still” person. I struggle with fairly severe anxiety, and my mind tends to wander towards current or potential projects whenever I’m faced with a task that seems mundane. On the other hand, that means that I have had to think a lot about ways to achieve even the tiniest bit of stillness. Here are some habits and techniques that have helped me.
Remember your goals. Yes, there’s curriculum to teach, laundry to fold, dishes to wash, errands to run…a never-ending list of chores and responsibilities. And those things are important, but they are not the goal. Our main goal is to be sanctified, thereby being united with Christ. Our second goal is to raise our children to pursue the same. Our third goal is to love and serve others. Completing housework, teaching a set amount of curriculum, and so on—these are much farther down the list. When you approach each moment as a possibility for achieving our goals, essentially giving each moment to Christ, the rest of the world has a way of melting away. You’ll still be folding the same shirt you folded yesterday or washing the 800th fork of the day, but you’ll be doing it with the knowledge that it is for your sanctification, not for marking off a to-do list item.
Lead with prayer. One of the biggest disruptors in my peace is arguing and negotiating allllllllll day with tiny humans who don’t know how to tie their shoes but are convinced they should be in charge of…well, everything. One of the–if not THE–sweetest balms for that struggle is prayer. When it feels like I’m disciplining my children every 5 minutes, I stop and pray. Not silently, not a memorized prayer. I take my child onto my lap, and I ask God to give me His love and peace. And then I ask my child to take a turn praying. I cannot think of a single instance in which this has not opened my child’s and my hearts to reconciling with each other, working together, and loving each other more.
Pray for others. Something I really struggle with is replaying interactions on loop, dissecting them and fretting about them. And if I’m not analyzing specific interactions, I’m probably worrying about entire relationships. Recently, I have begun focusing on praying for people the moment they come to mind. If I am able to do a full circuit on my prayer rope (Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on my mother/my friend/this sick person at church/a political leader who said something troublesome), that’s a massive blessing! But five “Lord have mercies” as I’m going about chores works wonders on their own.
Practice gratitude. It’s hard to be anxious when you’re focused on how many gifts you have and how many good things you are surrounded by in the current moment (no matter how stressful that moment is!). When my child does something well (like obeying quickly or completing a task efficiently), we thank God and our guardian angels. I (try to) give thanks for my children throughout the day, appreciating every smile, funny expression, precocious or goofy comment, etc. At dinner each night, we take turns thinking back on the day and choosing one thing that we’re grateful for. These three things have made our home so much more peaceful.
Live in the moment. If I had to sum up my other tips, it would be this! When you give up the things of tomorrow, or next week, or 10 years ago, and you focus on what is in front of you in this moment, there is so much more room for peace and stillness. This is a very hard thing to do! It’s a bit like doing a plank while working out, and I myself can only hold this mental “plank” for a few seconds at a time, and with great effort. But just like with learning to do a plank, you get a little stronger each time you do it! One thing that has helped me when my thoughts start to wander away from whatever is in front of me in a given moment is to picture–or more accurately, feel–myself actually handing my thoughts over to Christ.
In Part I, Londyn shared a beautiful piece of wisdom from Saint Isaac the Syrian: “Establish your heart in peace, and a multitude around you will be saved.” But along with that exquisite articulation of the importance of stillness, I want to share this reminder from St. Paul in his letter to the Hebrews: Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Remember that stillness is one of the destinations on our way to our ultimate goal of being united with Christ…but it is also a race—more accurately, a marathon—in and of itself! Take courage, and each time you fall, letting the noise of the world crowd in, get back up with God’s strength, and begin to run again!
God be with you in this difficult, but incredibly rewarding, race!