saintemmeliaministries 3/31/26 saintemmeliaministries 3/31/26

Meet the Matushkas: Presb. Christine Slaughter Doty

Saint Emmelia Ministries is blessed to have a board of wise, loving Spiritual Advisors who help run our regional conferences and online events, provide guidance to local homeschoolers, and guide the vision & work of the ministry. Alongside them are their wives, who work tirelessly to support their husbands’ work, on top of educating their children. In this series, we are honored to introduce you to these exceptional women.

by Pres. Christine Slaughter Doty

1. Please introduce yourself briefly.

I’m Presbytera Christine Slaughter Doty, and I’ve been married to Fr. Justin Slaughter Doty for nearly nine years. We currently live in the Midcoast town of Rockland, Maine, where we’ve been for almost four years now. Before coming to Maine, we served the Church in Washington State, Connecticut, and Lincolnshire, England.

Fr. Justin and I met before either of us was Orthodox, while working in EMS. I had been an EMT for a few years when a new paramedic joined our company—and he happened to be wearing a very lovely British cap, which I made sure to let him know! At the time, I was working about 90 hours a week, so the only way he could take me on a date was to sign up for the same shift and ambulance as myself. Not long after that, we became paramedic partners… and three months later, we were engaged.

When we became engaged, he was preparing to study at an Anglican seminary in New York City. My husband has always been very academically inclined, whereas I came from a non-traditional upbringing that lacked many educational opportunities. Still, I had a strong interest in linguistics, ancient studies, and Egyptology. At the time, I was just having a blast with my own independent research, which involved the conception of the soul in ancient Egyptian thought and some translation work in Middle Egyptian. He found it very amusing that I was doing “thesis style work” as he said, without being enrolled in any program whatsoever. So he spent the next few months encouraging me to apply to college and helping me through that whole process. I was eventually accepted into the very same college that he had just graduated from, and together we designed an independent major that involved studies between my home college and Brown University, along with summer coursework in linguistics at Harvard and Yale. My professors were incredibly supportive of my rather unique pursuits and ambitions. My husband and I are extremely self-aware that we tend to be very ambitious people, but that ambition has seen us through many, many necessary steps in life to bring us to where we are now.

About four months after our engagement, we were married—and five days later, I left for college in Massachusetts while he went to seminary in New York City. The original plan was for him to take the train up on the weekends, but that quickly changed. Within two weeks, he found us an apartment in my town and got permission to transfer his studies to the Greek seminary, Holy Cross, in MA. An Anglican… at an Orthodox seminary. His former professors warned him, “Be careful—don’t convert!” …well.

Today, we have three children: Heloise Thekla (almost six), Alphage (Alfie) Æthelwine (almost four), and Odilia Leofgyth (almost three). We’ve been lightly homeschooling for about two years. Right now, our focus is on the basics—reading, writing, math, and languages (Greek and French)—along with starting music, sewing, and painting. The last three are not only hobbies for us; they’re connected to the life of the Church: music in preparation for Byzantine chant, sewing for vestments, and painting as a foundation for iconography. We’ve also been very blessed with a very kind, retired schoolteacher in our parish, who has been such an incredible resource and help to my children and I.

2. What did the discernment process for the priesthood look like for your family?

Our path was probably a bit different than most. When we met, my husband was already on track for the Anglican priesthood, and I was, what I say, too scared of God to call myself an “atheist,” so I shamefully claimed to be “Agnostic.” I had grown up in quite a unique Catholic household, and by the time I left home at seventeen, I had stepped away from the church and was no longer interested in Christianity.

He encouraged me to return to the Faith, and later, when I was in college and he had transferred to the Greek seminary, we both began searching more deeply for the truth—but in different ways. My academic work began to shift. What started as a study of the soul in ancient Egyptian religion gradually transformed into a comparison between ancient Egyptian beliefs and early Christian thought. Through that, I encountered the Church Fathers—and I found myself drawn to Orthodoxy. At the same time, I felt a real tension. My husband was still pursuing the Anglican priesthood, so I wanted to be supportive of him, but I wasn’t sure how to reconcile that with what I was discovering. So I waited.

His time at Holy Cross, surrounded by Orthodox seminarians, professors, and clergy, was great for him—my husband has never been one to shy away from debates. He has always been a truth-seeker, and it didn’t take him much longer than myself to accept Orthodoxy. When he finally came to me to share his thoughts, he discovered that I had already arrived at the same place!

We were received into the Orthodox Church later that year, and from there he began meeting with His Grace, Bishop John, to discuss his presence at the seminary and the Orthodox priesthood. In many ways, the discernment unfolded over a few years of shared searching and gradual clarity—but I had always known that his life was oriented toward the priesthood.

3. How did you decide to homeschool? How did you decide what methods/curriculum/ pedagogical approaches to use?

We chose homeschooling largely because it aligns best with how we want to raise our children. We’re not particularly drawn to public schools for a number of reasons, and while some private schools can be good, it would always be on a case-by-case basis. Right now, there are no private school systems near us that are of any interest.

For us, keeping the children close to home—and close to us—is important. Homeschooling allows for that, while also giving us the flexibility to shape their education around the life of the Church.

We try to incorporate elements that will serve them later within the Church: music, sewing, art, and a general familiarity with the rhythm of liturgical life. At the same time, we also have a long-standing interest in classical education. We once began developing an Orthodox classical school system in England before returning to the United States, and that vision has never entirely left us. It’s something that we think of from time to time, and God-willing, we still hope to revisit it one day.

4. What are some practical ways that you balance ministry, homeschooling, homemaking, etc.?

This is probably the hardest question to answer, because it’s always in flux.

One of the most important things we’ve done is to intentionally keep two days off each week—usually Mondays and Tuesdays. We treat them as our “weekend,” and our parishioners understand that we’re only available during that time for emergencies. I think this is essential for clergy families; otherwise, the boundaries between parish life and home life quickly disappear.

For homeschooling, I try to set aside consistent time blocks—usually one to three hours every other day. Without that structure, it’s very easy for the weeks to slip by.

When we first arrived in Maine, our mission was very small—only about seven people. Over the last three years, it has grown into a parish of over 100, and last July we purchased our own building! Over the course of six weeks, we managed to convert an old medical office into a fully functioning, beautiful church. All of the work was done by my husband, myself, and our very dedicated and skilled parishioners. We all worked about 16-hours a day for the entirety of that six weeks. The grandmas had to come in to assist my husband and I with the children… Despite the very frantic process of it all, the church was completed the day before our patronal feast, decorated and all! His Grace, Bishop John arrived to open the doors, and the first liturgy in the new building was celebrated.

Experiences like that make it very clear: if we don’t intentionally structure our time, everything can easily be consumed by the work of the Church. So we try to be deliberate about protecting time for family life. I was warned once a long time ago by my spiritual father: Do not let the parish be built upon the backs my children. There is a longer tale that goes with that phrase, and I've never forgotten it. The parish, God-willing, will always remain once my husband and I are long gone, but the time of childhood is short in comparison, fragile, and cannot be regained once it passes.

5. How do you recharge yourself to be a better person for those around you? How much time do you spend?
We tend to be early risers—everyone is up around 6:00am—and that rhythm works well for us. By the evening, the children are usually in bed by 6:45 or 7:00pm.

From about 7:00 to 11:00pm, my husband and I share a mix of work and personal time. I’ll use that time for writing, homeschooling preparation, or administrative work for the parish, while he may focus on counseling calls, sermon preparation, or research. We also make sure to set aside time for hobbies and movies. It’s a balance of productivity and rest, which helps us both recharge.

We also try to take one or two short family trips each year—usually Monday through Friday so we’re still home for weekend services. And living on the coast of Maine has its own blessing: we’re only about eight minutes from the beach, which becomes a regular part of our summer life. Winters are quieter—there’s not quite as much to do outdoors for us...not exactly the outdoorsy type — but as a house full of bookworms, it has its own charm.

6. Not counting the Bible, what book has impacted you the most as a mother/teacher?

This is a difficult question, because there isn’t just one.

Over the years, I’ve been especially drawn to the writings of spiritual mothers—nuns, abbesses, and priest-wives. While, of course, I deeply value the writings of the Church Fathers and elders, there is something uniquely accessible about the voices of women in the Church. Their words often speak more directly to the lived experience of women, wives, and mothers.

A few of my particular favorites include the biography of Abbess Thaisia of Leushino, as well as the works of Mother Siluana—particularly God, Where is the Wound? and Theology of the Ordinary. I really could list many others.

Much of my own work now is devoted to building resources for Orthodox women—especially those who are just beginning to explore the Faith. Over the years, I’ve seen a common pattern in many inquirers: It’s usually a husband that first attends the services by himself for a long time, completely committed to Orthodoxy, however, his wife remains hesitant—not out of resistance per say, but mostly it’s because she doesn’t yet understand what the life of the Church really looks like.

Men and women are very different. Often, and I don’t say completely because it’s never 100% the same, but often men are brought in by the academics, the theology, the patristics, all of the historical background to Christ and Orthodoxy. Women, especially mothers, often connect to the Faith through the life of the home: the rhythms of fasting and feasting, the liturgical calendar, the traditions that shape daily life, theology and catechetical books that she can easily devour and then utilize in the educational curriculum of the children, even the music that we often play in the background of the home has an impact.

I am the co-head of a bookstore and library attached to our parish, and I keep a dedicated section for women for this very reason—a section filled with the very books that have helped so many wives take their first steps into Orthodoxy: Marriage as a Path to Holiness, A Sacred Beginning (any pregnancy and post-partum resources), Close to Home, Blueprints for the Little Church, and many others. In a way, it’s a holistic approach to the Faith for women—one that begins not only in study, but in the lived reality of the Christian home.

Make sure to check out Pres. Christine’s wonderful website: https://www.orthomotherhood.com/

saintemmeliaministries 3/17/26 saintemmeliaministries 3/17/26

Meet the Matushkas: Matushka Zoë Kavanaugh

by Mat. Zoë Kavanaugh

Hi! I’m Matushka Dr. Zoë Kavanaugh. I grew up with the Russians, so the title Matushka is dear to my heart. My husband and I met through an act of God at seminary in the last minutes of my visiting the area for an unrelated work conference. I always tell young people that it is when you have given up, and given your heart’s desire to Christ and the Theotokos, that miracles happen, and meeting my husband is one of my biggest miracles. We have been happily married for over a decade and have four vivacious children. While my husband attended public schools growing up, I was homeschooled, so it was a natural, mutual choice to homeschool our children. My favorite part about homeschooling is devouring great literature together all snuggled up on the couch, and being able to follow rabbit trails of knowledge to uncover fascinating and memorable knowledge nuggets. I also love how Fr. and I can encourage each child to realize much of the potential of who they already were when we got to hold them for the very first time.

There are so many wonderful books out there. One recent one that has had a profound influence on Fr.’s and my vision for our homeschooling, our ministry, and our family farm is called “The Family Economy”. It is a Protestant book, and is limited to the nuclear family, but it becomes even more poignant when this book is taken in conjunction with the spirit of the book “The Benedict Option,” and interpreted through the lens of Orthodoxy, to include Christian community. These two books have inspired Fr. and me in our community building and farm work at Ave Maria Farm in Wichita Falls, TX, where we have a ministry to help young people escape from the machine and return to clean, simple living, with the time-tested Orthodox rhythms of work and prayer. There is nothing like sharing food that you have raised and prepared together as a community.

Our homeschooling focuses on helping each child delve deeply into their interests with a goal of future monetization of those interests. We also are blessed with lots of guests joining us for farm to table family meals at our huge table. Many of these guests share priceless insights with the whole family. For example, one of our guests completely changed the way we see weeds in the garden. Weeds are now fun tools to prevent soil erosion here or add minerals there, or perhaps another one is good for an herbal remedy or skincare. Community life is so rich and rewarding, and I love how people in community are free to be friends with people of any age, rather than only with people within their birth year. This organic socialization is a beautiful way to prepare children for the real world.

There are so many fabulous curriculae out there. We have found that Ambleside Online, Scriptorium Writing (fabulous new curriculum written by Subdeacon Callum Lyda), and Math You See have met our needs well. However, I contend that the fun of homeschooling is that you don’t have to do things like public school. I feel that the largest part of my children’s education is liturgy, reading The Prologues from Ochrid at the breakfast table, devouring the countless totes full of picture books from the library, and taking trips inspired by those stories to bring the stories alive. The free association and cross-disciplinary possibilities available from going on rabbit trails is so much more memorable and poignant than stressing while checking off the boxes of a curriculum. The best advice we got for selecting curriculum is to find your mission statement, put it in a sentence or two, and weigh out any activity or class against that mission statement, outlining where/who you want your children to be as the end goal. Of course, anything worth doing is difficult: being an Orthodox Christian, being married, having children, and homeschooling. One thing that has helped me find joy is to rip out my microwave, and in its place, make a lovely little shrine with a statue of St. Elizabeth of Hungary, and icons of Saint Ita and Saint Morwenna, all of whom inspire me in the many areas I’m lacking, while I spend time cooking with them.

If I were to share any wisdom from our homeschooling journey, it would be the advice my dear husband constantly encourages me with: to teach the children from a place of joy and Christ’s peace, and when you’re not there, in the words of St. Sophrony, “Stand on the edge of the abyss and when you feel that it is beyond your strength, step back and have a cup of tea.” May His peace and joy be with you on your journey!

Saint Emmelia Ministries 3/3/26 Saint Emmelia Ministries 3/3/26

Meet the Matushkas: Mat. Melissa Naasko

by Mat. Melissa Naasko

1. Please introduce yourself briefly.

Father and I have eleven children, six girls and five boys. It has been an interesting journey since we met in at the University of Colorado. We met in the student government office and had friends who just happened to be cousins. We hit it off immediately and here we are!

2. What did the discernment process for the priesthood look like for your family?

My husband was a philosophy instructor and worked with Catholic seminarians. One day, while the bishop was visiting, he asked my husband to come into the altar after liturgy. He asked him to consider the diaconate. We decided together that this would be a way for him to help serve our community. Later, when we lost our priest, the bishop called and asked him to consider the priesthood. At first, he was hesitant. He loved being a deacon. I am so glad that he decided to say yes because he loves being a priest even more.

3. How did you decide to homeschool? How did you decide what methods/curriculum/pedagogical approaches to use?

Our oldest was fascinated by reading and was reading early chapter books at four. I had started teaching him phonics in a haphazard way but it worked for him. There was an article on why some people were homeschooling in Parents Magazine and we started considering it. My mother bought us the books "What Your (blank) Grader Needs to Know" and we dove in. A mother in my local support group was graduating her youngest and gave me her well loved set of Charlotte Mason books and just started.

4. What are some practical ways that you balance ministry, homeschooling, homemaking, etc.?

We really believe that we are a tag-team. We have the same goals and we tag each other in and out to get everything done. There have been times when we had to divide and conquer and some of us will miss some services to be able to deliver lambs or calves or study for an exam and other times when we set everything aside so we can all be at Church. The best way for us to decide how to manage all the various demands is to consider what has the most consequences if not met and do this first down in importance to the thing of the least consequence. Sometimes we do it well and sometimes we don't but we try to do it together.

5. How do you recharge yourself to be a better person for those around you? How much time do you spend?

Now that my kids are older and not early risers, I get up before them and I knit with some coffee. I just enjoy the morning this way so much. When they were little, everyone had "Afternoon Nap". I did not care if they slept but they had to be quiet. I played the same classical music CD (it was about 50 minutes long) and when it was over, they could get up. I sometimes napped and sometimes read and often knitted but it was a critical time for me.

6. Not counting the Bible, what book has impacted you the most as a mother/teacher?

There are lots of parts of me and each has their own book. I would say that for my homeschooling journey, it would be "Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum" by Laura Berquest. I still use it. For my spiritual journey, it would be my Jordanville Prayer Book. It is so well used and looks like it is barely holding together but the worse it looks, the better I do. I could replace it but I have no plans to. Then there is Robert Louis Stevensen's "A Child's Garden of Verses" which I memorized, on my own, when I was little. I started reading every poetry book I could and collected them from thrift stores and just memorized enormous swaths of poetry. All my children started out in this book.

7. If there’s one thing you could tell your just-starting-out-homeschooling-self, what would it be?

Firstly, you don't have to be perfect but you do have to be consistent. Stick at it every day. Just keep going. Secondly, cultivate a culture of reading by always reading. Carry a book with you. Let your children see you read. Read aloud every day. If they can read and comprehend, they can learn anything they want.

8. What would is the most crucial subject homeschool beginners should focus on?

The three Rs, in fact, get Ruth Beechick's "The Three Rs" and just do that. You can make your own curriculum for young children. Just start and be consistent. You really don't have to be perfect or have the most fun curriculum. What you need to is to be consistent.

Saint Emmelia Ministries 2/17/26 Saint Emmelia Ministries 2/17/26

Meet the Matushkas: Kh. Kelleylynn Barberg

by Kh. Kelleylynn Barberg

1. Please introduce yourself briefly.

Christ is in our midst!

I’m Khouria Kelleylynn Barberg; married for nearly 31 years to Fr. Raphael Barberg; we live in the Greater Buffalo (GO BILLS!) Niagara area in Youngstown NY. A little geography for you: we live in the farthest western northern town in NY state by Lake Ontario along the lower Niagara River that borders Canada. It’s a little Mayberry town. We love living here.

We have 5 children: Colin (28), Hannah (27), Mary Katherine (23), Luke (21), and Nathanael (15). This school year, Nathanael entered a private Catholic High school, and has straight A’s. We have (2) college graduates: Colin, from Hellenic College (2019), and Mary Katherine, from St. John’s College in Santa Fe, NM (2025). Hannah finished high school in 3 years (it can be done), and works full-time in the hospitality industry; Luke is a Corporal with the United States Marine Corps. We are realizing that we are now spectators in our children’s lives than guides; in all honesty, they have and continue to teach us. It is an incredible full life filled with all the ingredients of a beautiful chaos. I wouldn’t change a thing—well, maybe go back in time once in awhile to hold my little babies again.

This year, the long decades of homeschooling has come to a bitter-sweet end. I would do a few things differently; maybe we’ll touch on that later. However, I’m not quite moving away from homeschooling, just pivoting my attention as I carry on in my job as the Administrator with St. Athanasius (on-line homeschool) Academy (since 2021) and a board member with SAAOT. This gives me more time to share my love of home education; yes, also to help families make the best connections and educational decisions that fit their needs. Our SAA teachers and admin-team are a melting pot of talent for Orthodox Christian homeschooling families who may need help in navigating the early years to transitioning middle school and high school; to college or career goals. It is encouraging to be among such faithful and dedicated human beings. And our students and families are wonderful! I only wish we could be in person so I can hug on them all! I have learned so much by their example. It’s been a rewarding journey, and I never thought I’d help run an on-line teaching academy for homeschooling families within the Orthodox Christian Faith, yet by the grace of God, here I am, and I love it! It is so very good to see how far homeschooling has made strides in our Orthodox Christian church communities. Glory to God for all things!

Fr. Raphael and I have a long history together as we met when I was just 11; he was 18. We did not date until I was 20. We attended a large Protestant church together. He was a youth leader; I was a fitful tween. He saw me grow up and and I watched him transition into a young man. We both come from divorced homes, and our mothers were instrumental in our Christian rearing—overcoming unbearable obstacles as single mothers. We started dating in Spring of 1994, and within 2 months we were engaged; married in June of 1995.

“Perhaps I had a wicked childhood / Perhaps I had a miserable youth / But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past / There must have been a moment of truth / For here you are, standing there, loving me / Whether or not you should / So somewhere in my youth or childhood / I must have done something good”

He was already a catechumen in the Orthodox church and had a chrismation date set that ended up being postponed. It was postponed because Fr. George, of blessed memory, told Fr. Raphael (a.k.a. Kevin) “Marry her first; then we will figure out Orthodoxy together...the church will be here, we will be here; Orthodoxy is not going anywhere, but she might; it is good for you to have a wife.”

I was blown away by this response, and decided I needed to meet this priest and see the church for myself. Long story short, on June 3, 1995, we were married in the Protestant church where we met, and by that time my heart and mind was looking toward the East. We were eventually brought into the Holy Faith together in 1996 on St. Mary of Egypt Sunday at St. George Niagara Falls, NY, where we now have been serving the faithful for the past 8 years. We were parishioners at St. George’s for 15 years, had 4 children there, baptized the children; their God parents still attend (one is now a priest!), and Fr. Raphael was ordained to the Holy Priesthood there, and we came back in 2014 to lay my mother for eternal rest. St. George was and is always our home. We returned to serve the faithful after 10 years of being away in 2018.

In 2008, we moved to St. Vladimir’s Seminary near NYC to attend seminary for the next 3 years. While at seminary, we finally were among other Orthodox Christian families to homeschool with —although we had homeschooled before attending seminary and said goodbye to a healthy co-op group of homeschoolers in Western NY—we were always the only Orthodox Christians. This was a first, and it encouraged our homeschooling journey immeasurably. After graduation (2011), we were assigned to a small parish in Maryland, and with our 5th child just 9 months old, homeschooling become the greatest challenge.

With no supportive co-op, friends and family nearby, these years were filled with loneliness and too many doubts. “Did we do the right thing by us and for our children?” I was unmotivated without a homeschool community, doubting that I could do this all on my own. It was extremely difficult. I no longer had Fr’s help, he was busy with the new parish and a full-time job too! We also recognized our Luke was struggling to read, and after testing, he was diagnosed with Dyslexia. I had no idea how to help him. We enrolled him into 2nd grade at the local elementary school. The teacher was amazing, and he made leaps and bounds — we eventually brought him back home because he asked to be back with us. Today, at 21 and a Corporal with the US Marines, he is thriving and is one smart young man. He is a gift to me. Dyslexia is a gift—another way of learning — like going in the back door than the front door. Dyslexic children can and will learn! They need lots of patience, but don’t we all?!

When I look back, it is here where we grew closer as a family in deeper understanding and patience. We just didn’t see it then. During the 5 years in MD, we enrolled our eldest into a private Catholic high school, and the following year, our eldest daughter went to the local high school (her choice). We gave our children the option to choose when entering the high school years; that they also could return home at any time. Transitioning from homeschool to high school was different for each one; presented multiple challenges and triumphs. During that time away from the home, they were able to exercise their voice in another environment, to practice advocacy for others and themselves, they navigated being proactive, organized priorities that aligned in their faith with the academic knowledge they gathered, and gave kindness and grace to their neighbor/fellow classmate. Sometimes, it was not easy for them. It took a ton of prayer and patience. They developed listening skills while taking instruction from another adult—who generally did have their best interests for their students— was an invaluable learning opportunity for them. We ended up enrolling all the children into high schools when their time came. We moved after 5 years in MD to OKC, and during those 2 years there, we once again were blessed like our seminary days with a vibrant and loving homeschool co-op. We were a small group of 4 moms and 16 children, and we liked it that way. In OKC, our third child, entered a private Catholic high school; she faced so many challenges of belonging and fitting in—more than the first two experienced. But she wanted to stay, and finished the year and persevered. We moved after her freshman year; this time back to our hometown where she was enrolled into an all girls Catholic school, and she soared there. Thank God! It was a huge leap of faith to make this all work financially and loads of courage to endure between 4 moves in 10 years. That was difficult on all the children. Two more into high school, and ups and downs along the way—those were lessons as valuable as ABC and 1-2-3. Our children became adaptable young people, and steadfast in their faith in God even in the struggles. I am not advocating other families do as we did, just that itended up a good fit for our children and their life decisions ahead. They are still in progress, we cannot carefully curate perfect children — there is that thing called “free will”. We can, however, love and teach them without our forced intentions, as Christ loves us all.

What did the discernment process for the priesthood look like for your family?

Oh, discernment! We were not on the same page, at first. Much like our conversion story. God’s ways are not our ways. I truly believe, discernment is not possible without patience. Most who know Fr. Raphael, knew he was a Buffalo NY Police Lieutenant for 20 years before pursuing the priesthood. That was a good job for us as a growing family: steady hours, paid well with lots of flexible vacation and personal time. One day, after we had our third baby (fall of 2002), he came to me while I was doing laundry, and pleaded with me to attend seminary that summer! He wanted to make a plan to take an early retirement, and we could go. I flat out said, “no, now is not the time.” That was a hard time for us-as we were not in agreement. I wasn’t trying to be a disobedient wife, disrespect his ambitions, or be a stubborn wife (although I am that - Lord, have mercy on me), I just *knew* we ought to wait. I sensed my husband was anxious to begin—even though he did not want to pursue the priesthood, he desired to attend seminary; that was not how I wanted to begin this. I liked where we were. I loved my home, and I had never lived away from family and friends. We prayed; we talked it over; talked it over with our priest. In a short time, Fr. knew we needed to wait as well. He was already the parish deacon for one year, ordained just before 9/11 in September of 2001; he was not up for retirement until 2008! In late December of 2003, we lost a baby; within 2 months we were expecting again. My mother was living with us and was not well. Life was heavy and very full. It all felt a foolish endeavor, so discernment, to me—it was obvious! I thought if we waited, this desire of his will pass. Our fourth baby arrived in early fall of 2004; still four more years until retirement. He focused on serving the parish as best as he could as the deacon; his work with IOCC. He was a dedicated and faithful deacon to the parish priest and community while still working as a police officer. Why would anyone want to leave that comfort? The summer before his retirement year, we decided to travel to Kodiak, Alaska to experience the pilgrimage to St. Herman of Alaska on Spruce Island. We were there for 2 weeks: one week to help around the seminary and the other for the pilgrimage. One evening during a Akathist service for St. Herman, the faithful were able to venerate his uncorrupt body and heavy iron cross St. Herman was known for keeping around his neck and body. After venerating, I needed to step outside to get some fresh cooler air. The church was packed, and with the heavy incense permeating the church; the August summer air was warmer than usual inside the small cathedral. I remember the native people making comments how hot it was to them! There were still so many more people filing in to the church to venerate their beloved St. Herman. My husband stood over St. Herman’s coffin holding up the cover and helping people in and around the holy relics. I quietly slipped outside with the church doors still open and could hear the troparion to St. Herman sung in English, Russian, and Yupik...it was glorious! I had been an Orthodox Christian for 11 years, and this was my first encounter with a holy saint’s relics! It was amazing; ethereal! In the moments sitting on the Cathedral steps, gazing at the snow capped mountains, it was as St. Elijah experienced: a calm and still voice-nothing rushed or filled with anxiety. The wind went around me, “It is time.” I cried. There were so many logistics to manage: sell a house, secure my mom a new safe living situation, settle retirement funds, apply to seminary and scholarship with the Antiochian Archdiocese, and tell the children! We talked a great deal during the pilgrimage, and we prayed at St. Herman’s well on Spruce Island. We brought some water home. We prayed more in the cathedral by his relics; we talked to priests who had wisdom to give us. One year later, we stepped out of our moving van, unto the parking lot of Lakeside 1 at St. Vladimir’s Theological Seminary in Crestwood, NY— on the very feast day of St. Herman of Alaska to begin this endeavor. It all came together—yes, there is synergy to make something like this happen, and there was lots of work that went into it but it was all by the grace of God! At SVS there is an icon of Jesus Christ on the iconostasis that reads: "You did not choose me, but I chose you” John 15:16. The three years at seminary were filled with many beautiful days and painful-heart wrenching growing moments. Our faith was tested. We departed SVS with Fr. Raphael just one year as an ordained priest, his first parish assignment in MD ahead of us; our fifth child just 9 months old. The rest of the kids in tow, trusting us, and in God for all things that would come our way. God’s ways are not our ways. Patience gathers discernment. I see that now.

How did you decide to homeschool? How did you decide what methods/curriculum/ pedagogical approaches to use?

Ha, I have to laugh at this. Forgive me. When we started out homeschooling (2000!) there wasn’t much to choose from that aligned with the Orthodox Faith, and we rag-bagged curriculum on a minimal income. I borrowed textbooks and we went to the libraryall the time! It definitely was not shiny and new. Honestly, if you just read to your children, allow time for them to play and explore, to make a mess, and teach them to clean up; read more to them; read aloud the psalms and poetry. Give them structure: brush your teeth and wash your face. Provide opportunities and places to explore, teach them to hold a pencil, a paint brush; write a well thought out sentence, and narrate a book back to you; play ball, read a book in quiet, sit quietly; knit, sew, look at art, create art; fix and repair a broken chair or radio; help with the cooking and housework; laundry, and allow them to play in the snow and rain, get dirty; climb and jump. Eek! They might break a leg (we had two boys with femur breaks), teach them to feel the grass in bare feet and taste fruits and veggies at the farmers market (or homegrown)—you are 90% homeschooling your children. Of course, yes, there is more to it than all that; when they’re older, balancing and time management comes in. Foster interdependence over codependence as they grow into young men and women. But, I digress. We started out with this massive curriculum “Tapestry of Grace” and it was all my husband’s pushing to homeschool. I had no incline to homeschool, it was overwhelming and unknown to me; I was scared. I could not stay with TOG (sorry creators) and took a slower, easier and steadier approach. I had beenintroduced to the Trivium approach: Grammar, Logic, Rhetoric. Eventually, we read moreabout "Charlotte Mason” and devoured her words and methods. I needed life to be simpler. There were 4 children under the age of 8 needing constant attention. Charlotte Mason’s teaching resonated with me; it was exactly the kind of education I had wished I received. So, we visited museums: history, art, science; we listened to music-all the music; the girls took ballet lessons and we went to the theatre. For a time, I taught them basic French (my heritage) words. Some played the piano, the violin, and then the guitar, and fiddled with a camera; helped me in the kitchen, the garden, and everywhere else. We took long walks, vacationed at the beach, and went camping. In time, we chose curriculum from Saxon Math to First Language Lessons and Story of the World by Susan Wise Bauer to many more; a plethora of Science textbooks. Spent money on art classes, voice lessons, and I bought curriculum we never used! They learned to read the scripture texts during family prayers and the 8 tones of Byzantine chant. Later on, our children have been invaluable at the kleros. Looking back, my favorite times was just reading to them and sharing that close time together. My favorite memories are when Fr. Raphael taught them all how to read from a textbook: “Teach Your Children to Read in 100 Easy Lessons”. That book fell apart by the time it was Nathanael’s turn. And, MK skipped right past the last 50 lessons—too smart for all of us put together. They loved that time with their father. I loved that time they had with him. They also loved the voices he made when reading out loud from “The Hobbit” or “The Chronicles of Narnia”. I’d give anything to go back to those simple days. They memorized poetry during bath time. Ask one of my children to recite “The Gingham Dog and the Calico Cat” by Eugene Field. Back then, we didn’t feel we were doing anything extra special for our children— it was simply that we desired as much time with them as we could. Many balked at what we were doing, and questioned our ability to teach them. We were the only homeschoolers in our parish! We were tired parents doing the best we knew how with what we had. Co-ops were a challenge for us lonely Orthodox in our area. It took a long time to find the right fit. It’s different today for many, and I’m grateful to hear that.

What are some practical ways that you balance ministry, homeschooling, homemaking, etc.?

We follow the church calendar, observing the feasts and fasts. It was easy to navigate when they were young and all at home. It really was! We kept it simple too. I didn’t raise our children around social media—rushed or pressured to post a perfect picture of what we did—but stayed attuned to them and the moment. Do the next best things for you and your family. Others will have to do the same. We’d say evening prayers. We’d pray before meals. And, we had group hugs. Please eat together, at the table; as often as you can. Sometimes, in my earlier years with the children; pulled into this weird online world, I felt like I should be “the one” to show the virtual-world how to; quickly with conviction came to terms that was not healthy. When they were little, we spent many breaks with the nuns at a monastery. They have fond memories of that time, and our one daughter will visit occasionally. Today, with the youngest attending high school and his extra activities it is more challenging to pace ourselves. Our college graduate daughter is living back home and has a job schedule that will conflict with the church calendar, and the other 3 are living on their own — one in Okinawa. Our lives are vastly different than while we were all home, homeschooling all of them, and it is definitely more challenging to balance time with one another. But, life is not static; we adjust with the inevitable changes. There is joy in both missing the days that were and the newness of another day offers. We certainly do our best; I’m grateful that time and time again, our “party of 5” long to be “home” and to be together. They are a very close group-best of friends- and if that is all they learned during our years as homeschoolers, then Glory be to God!

So, parents to young ones, relish the days when you all are at home, even the monotony- there is a blessedness in that quotidian that quickly changes. Our only hope, as God allows, is that we have instilled these practices for when they have a family of their own.

How do you recharge yourself to be a better person for those around you? How much time do you spend?

This has been a work in progress for me, and I am still learning. I’ve learned the hard way too. Time with others outside my home is helpful. I think because I spend more time at home working, I like the change of scenery. It wasn’t always like that, we would entertain quite often in our home with the children always present. I like coffee dates; lunch dates; breakfast dates because I don’t have to cook and I am able to have long conversations with a friend or my husband; now with my older children individually. I get monthly massages now that I make my own money. I wake early, I did not do that when the kids were little. I stand in the front at church, keeping my distractions at a minimum. Limit social media. I ought to read more. I do take a yearly vacation with just me and my twin sister, no kids, no husbands, and no agendas or timelines. And, I do visit a monastery twice a year...we have one about 3 hours away. I will be going in February with my husband, and we have not done that in so long together. It’s usually just me on my own. However, we do take time for vacations. Simple ones where we can rest and explore. If I am tired, I rest. I used to push myself to exhaustion. Somedays, I do stay in my pajamas if there is nothing on the calendar. And, I am really okay with that! Now that the house is quieted, I miss the comings and goings but also like the silence. It’s all changed for us this past year, and I am finding new things to do. I did recently join a small gym just minutes from our home. My daughter encouraged me to do so. I look forward to spring so I can take walks along the river once again.

If there’s one thing you could tell your just-starting-out-homeschooling-self, what would it be?

I have so much to say to my just-starting-out-homeschooling-self: Be gentle with yourself. Begin the day with patience and prayer. Let the day unfold as it should. Play more and clean up later. There is so much they imitate and learn by watching you. I know, that wasn’t one thing.

Saint Emmelia Ministries 2/3/26 Saint Emmelia Ministries 2/3/26

Meet the Matushkas: Mother Lara Oliver

by Mother Lara Oliver

I'm Mother Lara Oliver~ my husband is an Antiochian priest in Tennessee; the Arabic title "Khouriya" doesn't fly very well in the south, so we settled on "mother." Fr John and I met in 1996 at a microbrewery in Nashville where I was waiting tables while trying to figure out what to do with my life after having graduated from the Johns Hopkins University with two degrees I had no interest in pursuing vocationally. He asked me about the cross around my neck; we talked about our grandmothers and Jesus, and we became really good friends until one day we found ourselves in love. Oops! Of course, it was a lot more complicated and messy than that, but 30 years later, we're the parents of 5 children, ages 26-16. I have homeschooled all of them from preschool to college. Our nearly 17 year old son is still homeschooling while also dual enrolling at the local university. I look forward to taking a breather for a couple of years and then beginning again with our grandson, who is currently 8 months old, and hopefully other grandchildren and children in our church community (where I have directed a homeschooling cooperative for 19 years.).

When Fr John and I were getting to know one another, he shared that he had been told by his priest that he should someday consider the priesthood. Assuming that "someday" would be in about 20 years, I shrugged it off. 4 years later, while we were living happily ever after in our little cottage in the woods, within a week's time, three different priests independently approached him about going to seminary/pursuing the priesthood. We were shocked at first but it was hard to ignore the three priests who knew us best. There wasn't much of a discernment process; there wasn't even a question. It was more like a revelation: Oh, THIS is what's next for our life. It was hard to leave our little home, our friends, our beloved church community, and the sweet life we had just built for our family, but there was no doubt that this was what God was calling us to do. I was 8 months pregnant with our second child when we headed to St Tikhon's and Fr John was ordained to the priesthood two and a half years later, a few days after our third child was baptized.

Fr and I both grew up in families that highly valued academics and education. I assumed that our children would get the same top-notch college-preparatory education that I had received, but then I realized that we had chosen a life of simplicity and a measure of, not poverty, but, shall we say, modest income. I had leapt off the academic/career train I had been on to be a stay at home mother, and my husband had left his job to become a priest. Then we voluntarily left a thriving stable parish for a tiny mission in rural Tennessee. Expensive prep schools would be out of the question. Besides, by this time, I was an Orthodox Christian, and my goals for my children had evolved... from "Harvard bound" to "Heaven bound." I wanted our children to be well-educated, literate, articulate, intelligent, and capable, but I REALLY wanted them to love Jesus, to seek first His kingdom, to be humble and loving and self-controlled, to consider others above themselves.... I wanted them to be Christians. But we couldn't afford a private Christian school, either. Having devoured The Well-Trained Mind and balancing it out with a hefty dose of Charlotte Mason, I decided to delve into this crazy homeschooling thing so I could give our children the "best" education possible.

At first I thought, well, if I do this homeschooling thing right, our children can be both heaven- AND Harvard-bound. But two things happened as I grew into mothering and being an Orthodox Christian. First, I realized we could only have ONE first thing in our life, and that had to be unequivocally Christ and His church. Education was good and important, but it must NOT be the first thing in our life. Second, the more time I spent with our children, despite the stress and exhaustion and depression and irritability, the less I could imagine parting with them several hours a day for the rest of their childhood. So my goal in homeschooling and my reason for homeschooling shifted. Why would I put our children on the train that I had leapt off? Why not, instead, try to equip them to live as faithful, pious Orthodox Christians spreading light in a world full of darkness?

I'm the worst person to talk to about methods and curricula. I have opinions, and I'm not known for being shy about sharing them, but I don't really think it matters as much what you use or how you teach them as creating an atmosphere of learning in your home and making the Church the axis around which your family life revolves. Teach them to read and do math; fill the home with beautiful, meaningful books. Keep them off of devices as long as you possibly can (I lament ever having caved on these issues) and give them opportunities to explore nature and art and music and cultures and everything this beautiful world has to offer. Orient them toward the Lord and toward thinking of others. Live your faith shamelessly. Who cares what math curriculum you use or how many languages your child can speak or instruments he masters if he loses his soul?

Balance? Hmmmm.... I am decidedly unqualified to speak on balance. :) Have you heard that quote from Hopko's grandmother? "Go to Church, say your prayers, remember God..". Well, school isn't on that list. Neither is housekeeping. Educate your children; keep your house as tidy and orderly as you reasonably can, which will be different during different seasons of family life. But don't get your priorities confused.

Do I sound like a terrible homeschooler? While I was doing it, I thought I was the worst. And I guess it's possible that I am! We rarely followed a schedule, fell years behind in math, kept a very messy house, and never really mastered anything~ instruments or languages or impressive skills. But by the grace of God, our children are adults who love Jesus and His church, love others, care for creation, and are also intelligent, articulate, literate, and pretty well-rounded. (Please don't ask about Math, though. They managed to earn merit-based scholarships to college, but it wasn't for their math scores!) I am not qualified to tell anyone what to do or how to do it; I am just here to encourage you to put first things first, and the rest will fall into place. Hmmmm... that sounds familiar, doesn't it? "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you..."

saintemmeliaministries 1/20/26 saintemmeliaministries 1/20/26

Meet the Matushkas: Kh. Anna Phelps

by Kh. Anna Phelps

Please introduce yourself and give a little of your family’s background.

My name is Kh. Anna Phelps, and I've been married to Fr. John Phelps for 29 years. We have eight children and are from Alaska and moved to Goldendale, WA ten years ago. We moved specifically to work on growing the Antiochian mission here in town, just twelve miles from the Greek Orthodox Monastery of St. John the Forerunner, started by Elder Ephriam up in the mountains near here. Many of our friends from Alaska and California have become nuns at this monastery, and we are blessed to call Goldendale our home. We just married off our fifth child, and we have six grandkids, with two on the way. We don't "encourage" our kids to get married young, but we also don't discourage it either. We (along with their priest or spiritual father) have counseled our kids on a case-by-case basis when it came to getting married and at what age, depending on who they were marrying.

Father and I met in Alaska when I was 15 at the church that I grew up in Eagle River, AK. He was converting from his Presbyterian church while he was in college in Anchorage, AK after moving back from attending Hillsdale College for two years. Once he converted, we were friends for a few years and eventually both joined the Holy Cross house (like a discipleship house) in Eagle River, where we met and housed with Fr. Noah Bushelli and Fr. Peter Gilquist (Jr) and many other legendary humans.

We started courting and then he wanted to have a serious talk. So we went on our talk where he hit me with some hard questions. He wanted to be sure of a few things before we progressed any further. He wanted me to be a stay-at-home-mom, he wanted me to be a homeschool mom (he was homeschooled, and I was public schooled), and he wanted to be a priest some day and wanted me to be ok with that. These are all very big life decisions at a young age, but ultimately I agreed that I was ok with them all. Thus began our homeschool journey and journey to the priesthood. He was 24 and I was 19.

Hochooling was NOT my idea. Because of this I have a very different approach than most other homeschooling moms out there, who pour over the curriculum catalogs and jump at the chance to take their kids to the library. I do not like books, or even like the smell of books. Thus, we do things VERY differently at our house. Homeschool came WAY before the priesthood. My husband didn't become a priest until eith years ago, and we had our first baby 27 years ago. So I have been a homeschool mom for about 25 years and a priest wife for only 8 years.

What is your pedagogical approach/how do you choose curricula?

Homeschooling was difficult to wrap my head around mainly because I don't like to sit still for very long; I'd rather be outside building a fence, canning beans, buying goats, or sewing a quilt... sitting and teaching my kids lessons is almost like torture, unless it's very short and sweet. I used "Teach Your Kids to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" because my mom (who's a school teacher by trade) recommended it. I used Saxon Math because the school I went to when I was a kid was selling all of their old math books, so I bought them at a good price. I used them when I was a kid, and I always liked math. Finding a "good" English curriculum was more tedious and grueling because I don't love English and I can't spell worth a darn and I finally figured out that I don't like reading because I read at a 7th grade level (SUPER SLOW). So after 10 years or so of beating my head against a wall and watching my kids easily learn to read and love reading, I realized the kids are smart and they'll be fine, I just need to find a curriculum that works for ME, the lame mom who has no patience for curriculum catalogs.

In theory we were going to follow the Classical model of teaching but in reality we followed the "bare bones" and semi-unschooling methodology. I insisted they learn how to read first, then they would do their math religiously every day, then they'd be reading everything they could get their hands on, so that was never an "assignment," except when they got older I'd try to get them to read a bit of the Bible and saint stories every day, as well as history, and email me a summary. They would sing Byzantine chant in the choir; they would all do some sort of instrument or three (their choice and never forced); they would beg me to do art, so I sent them to my mom's for that. If they need science, I beg my sister to let them go to her house, and I'll pay her good money to teach them. They would do animal chores daily (except one daughter ,who would much rather clean the whole house and hold babies all day), and eventually in high school, they'd choose their classes: science, a foreign language (definitely key to helping them understand the English language), literature, math, history…and then graduate!

We never geared their school towards academics in particular, but never made them think they couldn't go to college. If they went to college, we were very clear on exactly what they'd be going for: college is too expensive and soul sucking to go for fun! The kids who could read well, I'd make them read Plato, Herodotus, St. John Chrysostym, classics, and dystopian novels that made them think. Or they'd do college classes and get an Associates degree in business admin. If they weren't at that level, they'd stick to the basics: daily lives of the saints, the Bible, and some sort of saint/historical book.

I don't have a name for my "pedagogical" approach. I'm embarrassed about it most of the time, but my kids have turned out so amazingly that I feel like it's important to tell people about this haphazard approach I have taken to teaching my kids, just so they know it is possible to be a really bad homeschool mom and have your kids learn despite you! My kids do school five days a week, and we take breaks in the summer and for Christmas, so if I just didn't make them do anything and if every day was a holiday, that would not work, but we always "do schoo,l" even if it's them doing their school in the other room while I work and me checking in while I'm making dinner, making sure they do their pesky English dictation and spelling words. My kids just have to tell me what parts to read to them, and I can do it. My kids know I don't like school either, so knowing that we're in it together maybe makes it ok.

If I had to go back in time I'd tell myself to not sweat it. The kids love learning; they just don't necessarily want to learn in the order in which you tell them to. They will continue learning after they graduate, as long as the learning process is enjoyable. My oldest is 27 and still learning new languages as her hobby. She's now taking high-level math courses, determined to become an aerospace engineer because she can do anything if she goes for it. I think me telling her that 1000 times finally sunk in.

Also, the saint stories are the base. You can build entire curriculums off the saints timeline and the maps of the countries in which they lived, you can learn about ancient emperors, good and evil, all in those great and tiny stores every day. Don't underestimate the saint stories, if that's all you can do for history, you're doing great!

I have graduated five kids so far, three to go.

How do you balance being a homemaker and homeschooler with your ministry (and, in your case, a homestead!)?

Balancing is a funny question. I also work and homeschool and we have a small homestead. Balance is for the birds... During fasting periods I cook more food, during the summer I cook less and garden more, during the school year I glance at the kids’ math to be sure they're doing it and attending some of their online classes. The 5 year old gets reading lessons from me from time to time and from her 11 year old brother from time to time. When I'm working, I ask my 17 year old to be sure to feed the kids and protect me from the 5 year old. Morning coffee with my husband is great if we can manage it before we start our days, and we end the day connecting again after the kids go to bed. That time is important, especially to him, but when he's gone I miss it, so it's grown to be important to me as well. Everyone has their "lists" for the day. Nobody is allowed to ask me for screen time unless EVERYTHING is done— chores AND school—and also it has to be dark out first (at least in the winter). If they ask about screen time but I discover they didn't do their English or animal chores, they're either grounded completely that day or their time gets cut in half. This way there's no drama, just natural consequences and I know they're getting done. My oldest is currently doing college courses before graduation, so she's on her own. I don't micromanage teenagers (ok, not anymore…as much) because they need the freedom to mess up their own education and I need the brain space to work and not worry about her school.

How do you recharge/keep going?

Recharging, what is that? It's hard to get away but we do occasionally. I really just like some good quiet time so I can cross stitch and listen to a book, and in the summer, spring and fall I escape outside to do yard work, bonfires, and rest my brain. When we moved here, I was desperate for human interaction so I'd go up to the monastery coffee shop and hang out with the sisters for a couple of hours. But now we have teens and young adult children and many people in our church, and I work doing real estate now, so that can be very stressful and mentally draining. Sometimes all I want to do is hide when I can hide and not listen to people's problems or help anyone. I should do my prayers more faithfully because that ACTUALLY recharges me like nobody's business, but having quiet time is golden. Having an empty house is a luxury item, but that never happens in a homeschooling home where both parents work at home.

What book has impacted you the most (besides the Bible)?

When I sold my Alaska business it was around the time my husband was becoming a priest. I had all this extra time on my hands and my sewing machine was not working. I started reading books with St. Paisios in them (The Guru, the Young Man, and Elder Paisios & Mountain of Silence). In both of these books the authors rubbed me the wrong way, and I didn't respect them, but I was loving the parts where St Paisios was teaching them. I then discovered that we had the book Athonite Fathers and Athonite Matters on our bookshelf. Who was that author? None other than St. Paisios. I read that amazing, humorous, down to earth, heartwarming little book and was completely head over heels in love with this man. I ran to the monastery and bought the Spiritual Councils set of five books (now there are six). The sisters that St. Paisios taught in Greece published these about what he taught them. Every day I looked forward to meeting with him while drinking my coffee. Some days I could only read a small bit because what he'd hit me with was so huge I needed to chew on it for a while. But usually it was so down to earth simple, like he was saying, "Anna, today I'm going to teach you how to be kind." Or how to trick yourself into thinking the correct way, etc. It was truly life changing for me, but I was also in a state of needing exactly that. I had been looking for something to help me shift my way of thinking towards good and stop thinking of bad, but I needed help to know how to do that. St Paisios is still my favorite and I am so thankful for those books and that time that I had to put my hobbies down and pick some truly good and life changing books. And those are the books that you want to take your time reading, so it helped that I'm such a slow reader. I also learned how to make the prayer ropes during this time and I'm really thankful for that as well.

Ideally homeschool moms would sit with their kids, let their kids make messes with art projects and be a much better mother than I have been. But I have to give myself grace for who God made me to be. I like to stay busy renovating a bathroom, writing recipes, being on the parish council as the cemetery sexton, joining in the building committee for our new church building project, organizing coffee hour groups, planning the Pascha feast, helping people buy houses, loving business and teaching my kids about business and helping my friends start businesses. I love working outside, specifically building my compost pile and making a good bonfire, I love organizing the goat milk, having enough milk for my husband to make cheese, making lasagna for five single guys out of ground lamb and rabbit sausage from our friends, tomato sauce from my garden, cheese that was gleaned from Azure—and feeding the young guys and my family with almost no cost and good ingredients! I do a little bit of everything ,but I'm no expert at anything, and now that I'm nearly 50 I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I know that as a priest wife, there are unlimited expectations, but I can't worry about everyone's expectations, and I just have to do what I can do to get everything done and hope that at the end of the day I can be somewhat supportive to my husband and be nice enough to my kids so they'll want to come home and visit me when they're adults. So far, it's mostly working.