Meet the Matushkas: Presb. Christine Slaughter Doty

Saint Emmelia Ministries is blessed to have a board of wise, loving Spiritual Advisors who help run our regional conferences and online events, provide guidance to local homeschoolers, and guide the vision & work of the ministry. Alongside them are their wives, who work tirelessly to support their husbands’ work, on top of educating their children. In this series, we are honored to introduce you to these exceptional women.

by Pres. Christine Slaughter Doty

1. Please introduce yourself briefly.

I’m Presbytera Christine Slaughter Doty, and I’ve been married to Fr. Justin Slaughter Doty for nearly nine years. We currently live in the Midcoast town of Rockland, Maine, where we’ve been for almost four years now. Before coming to Maine, we served the Church in Washington State, Connecticut, and Lincolnshire, England. 

Fr. Justin and I met before either of us was Orthodox, while working in EMS. I had been an EMT for a few years when a new paramedic joined our company—and he happened to be wearing a very lovely British cap, which I made sure to let him know! At the time, I was working about 90 hours a week, so the only way he could take me on a date was to sign up for the same shift and ambulance as myself. Not long after that, we became paramedic partners… and three months later, we were engaged.

When we became engaged, he was preparing to study at an Anglican seminary in New York City. My husband has always been very academically inclined, whereas I came from a non-traditional upbringing that lacked many educational opportunities. Still, I had a strong interest in linguistics, ancient studies, and Egyptology. At the time, I was just having a blast with my own independent research, which involved the conception of the soul in ancient Egyptian thought and some translation work in Middle Egyptian. He found it very amusing that I was doing “thesis style work” as he said, without being enrolled in any program whatsoever.  So he spent the next few months encouraging me to apply to college and helping me through that whole process. I was eventually accepted into the very same college that he had just graduated from, and together we designed an independent major that involved studies between my home college and Brown University, along with summer coursework in linguistics at Harvard and Yale. My professors were incredibly supportive of my rather unique pursuits and ambitions. My husband and I are extremely self-aware that we tend to be very ambitious people, but that ambition has seen us through many, many necessary steps in life to bring us to where we are now. 

About four months after our engagement, we were married—and five days later, I left for college in Massachusetts while he went to seminary in New York City. The original plan was for him to take the train up on the weekends, but that quickly changed. Within two weeks, he found us an apartment in my town and got permission to transfer his studies to the Greek seminary, Holy Cross, in MA. An Anglican… at an Orthodox seminary. His former professors warned him, “Be careful—don’t convert!” …well.

Today, we have three children: Heloise Thekla (almost six), Alphage (Alfie) Æthelwine (almost four), and Odilia Leofgyth (almost three). We’ve been lightly homeschooling for about two years. Right now, our focus is on the basics—reading, writing, math, and languages (Greek and French)—along with starting music, sewing, and painting. The last three are not only hobbies for us; they’re connected to the life of the Church: music in preparation for Byzantine chant, sewing for vestments, and painting as a foundation for iconography. We’ve also been very blessed with a very kind, retired schoolteacher in our parish, who has been such an incredible resource and help to my children and I.

2. What did the discernment process for the priesthood look like for your family?

Our path was probably a bit different than most. When we met, my husband was already on track for the Anglican priesthood, and I was, what I say, too scared of God to call myself an “atheist,” so I shamefully claimed to be “Agnostic.” I had grown up in quite a unique Catholic household, and by the time I left home at seventeen, I had stepped away from the church and was no longer interested in Christianity.

He encouraged me to return to the Faith, and later, when I was in college and he had transferred to the Greek seminary, we both began searching more deeply for the truth—but in different ways. My academic work began to shift. What started as a study of the soul in ancient Egyptian religion gradually transformed into a comparison between ancient Egyptian beliefs and early Christian thought. Through that, I encountered the Church Fathers—and I found myself drawn to Orthodoxy. At the same time, I felt a real tension. My husband was still pursuing the Anglican priesthood, so I wanted to be supportive of him, but I wasn’t sure how to reconcile that with what I was discovering. So I waited.

His time at Holy Cross, surrounded by Orthodox seminarians, professors, and clergy, was great for him—my husband has never been one to shy away from debates. He has always been a truth-seeker, and it didn’t take him much longer than myself to accept Orthodoxy. When he finally came to me to share his thoughts, he discovered that I had already arrived at the same place!

We were received into the Orthodox Church later that year, and from there he began meeting with His Grace, Bishop John, to discuss his presence at the seminary and the Orthodox priesthood. In many ways, the discernment unfolded over a few years of shared searching and gradual clarity—but I had always known that his life was oriented toward the priesthood.

3. How did you decide to homeschool? How did you decide what methods/curriculum/ pedagogical approaches to use?

We chose homeschooling largely because it aligns best with how we want to raise our children. We’re not particularly drawn to public schools for a number of reasons, and while some private schools can be good, it would always be on a case-by-case basis. Right now, there are no private school systems near us that are of any interest. 

For us, keeping the children close to home—and close to us—is important. Homeschooling allows for that, while also giving us the flexibility to shape their education around the life of the Church.

We try to incorporate elements that will serve them later within the Church: music, sewing, art, and a general familiarity with the rhythm of liturgical life. At the same time, we also have a long-standing interest in classical education. We once began developing an Orthodox classical school system in England before returning to the United States, and that vision has never entirely left us. It’s something that we think of from time to time, and God-willing, we still hope to revisit it one day.

4. What are some practical ways that you balance ministry, homeschooling, homemaking, etc.?

This is probably the hardest question to answer, because it’s always in flux.

One of the most important things we’ve done is to intentionally keep two days off each week—usually Mondays and Tuesdays. We treat them as our “weekend,” and our parishioners understand that we’re only available during that time for emergencies. I think this is essential for clergy families; otherwise, the boundaries between parish life and home life quickly disappear.

For homeschooling, I try to set aside consistent time blocks—usually one to three hours every other day. Without that structure, it’s very easy for the weeks to slip by.

When we first arrived in Maine, our mission was very small—only about seven people. Over the last three years, it has grown into a parish of over 100, and last July we purchased our own building! Over the course of six weeks, we managed to convert an old medical office into a fully functioning, beautiful church. All of the work was done by my husband, myself, and our very dedicated and skilled parishioners. We all worked about 16-hours a day for the entirety of that six weeks. The grandmas had to come in to assist my husband and I with the children… Despite the very frantic process of it all, the church was completed the day before our patronal feast, decorated and all! His Grace, Bishop John arrived to open the doors, and the first liturgy in the new building was celebrated.

Experiences like that make it very clear: if we don’t intentionally structure our time, everything can easily be consumed by the work of the Church. So we try to be deliberate about protecting time for family life. I was warned once a long time ago by my spiritual father: Do not let the parish be built upon the backs my children. There is a longer tale that goes with that phrase, and I've never forgotten it. The parish, God-willing, will always remain once my husband and I are long gone, but the time of childhood is short in comparison, fragile, and cannot be regained once it passes.

5. How do you recharge yourself to be a better person for those around you? How much time do you spend?
We tend to be early risers—everyone is up around 6:00am—and that rhythm works well for us. By the evening, the children are usually in bed by 6:45 or 7:00pm.

From about 7:00 to 11:00pm, my husband and I share a mix of work and personal time. I’ll use that time for writing, homeschooling preparation, or administrative work for the parish, while he may focus on counseling calls, sermon preparation, or research. We also make sure to set aside time for hobbies and movies. It’s a balance of productivity and rest, which helps us both recharge.

We also try to take one or two short family trips each year—usually Monday through Friday so we’re still home for weekend services. And living on the coast of Maine has its own blessing: we’re only about eight minutes from the beach, which becomes a regular part of our summer life. Winters are quieter—there’s not quite as much to do outdoors for us...not exactly the outdoorsy type — but as a house full of bookworms, it has its own charm.

6. Not counting the Bible, what book has impacted you the most as a mother/teacher?

This is a difficult question, because there isn’t just one.

Over the years, I’ve been especially drawn to the writings of spiritual mothers—nuns, abbesses, and priest-wives. While, of course, I deeply value the writings of the Church Fathers and elders, there is something uniquely accessible about the voices of women in the Church. Their words often speak more directly to the lived experience of women, wives, and mothers.

A few of my particular favorites include the biography of Abbess Thaisia of Leushino, as well as the works of Mother Siluana—particularly God, Where is the Wound? and Theology of the Ordinary. I really could list many others.

Much of my own work now is devoted to building resources for Orthodox women—especially those who are just beginning to explore the Faith. Over the years, I’ve seen a common pattern in many inquirers: It’s usually a husband that first attends the services by himself for a long time, completely committed to Orthodoxy, however, his wife remains hesitant—not out of resistance per say, but mostly it’s because she doesn’t yet understand what the life of the Church really looks like.

Men and women are very different. Often, and I don’t say completely because it’s never 100% the same, but often men are brought in by the academics, the theology, the patristics, all of the historical background to Christ and Orthodoxy. Women, especially mothers, often connect to the Faith through the life of the home: the rhythms of fasting and feasting, the liturgical calendar, the traditions that shape daily life, theology and catechetical books that she can easily devour and then utilize in the educational curriculum of the children, even the music that we often play in the background of the home has an impact. 

I am the co-head of a bookstore and library attached to our parish, and I keep a dedicated section for women for this very reason—a section filled with the very books that have helped so many wives take their first steps into Orthodoxy: Marriage as a Path to Holiness, A Sacred Beginning (any pregnancy and post-partum resources), Close to Home, Blueprints for the Little Church, and many others. In a way, it’s a holistic approach to the Faith for women—one that begins not only in study, but in the lived reality of the Christian home.

Make sure to check out Pres. Christine’s wonderful website: https://www.orthomotherhood.com/

Meet the Matushkas: Matushka Zoë Kavanaugh

Saint Emmelia Ministries is blessed to have a board of wise, loving Spiritual Advisors who help run our regional conferences and online events, provide guidance to local homeschoolers, and guide the vision & work of the ministry. Alongside them are their wives, who work tirelessly to support their husbands’ work, on top of educating their children. In this series, we are honored to introduce you to these exceptional women.

by Mat. Zoë Kavanaugh

Hi! I’m Matushka Dr. Zoë Kavanaugh. I grew up with the Russians, so the title Matushka is dear to my heart. My husband and I met through an act of God at seminary in the last minutes of my visiting the area for an unrelated work conference. I always tell young people that it is when you have given up, and given your heart’s desire to Christ and the Theotokos, that miracles happen, and meeting my husband is one of my biggest miracles. We have been happily married for over a decade and have four vivacious children. While my husband attended public schools growing up, I was homeschooled, so it was a natural, mutual choice to homeschool our children. My favorite part about homeschooling is devouring great literature together all snuggled up on the couch, and being able to follow rabbit trails of knowledge to uncover fascinating and memorable knowledge nuggets. I also love how Fr. and I can encourage each child to realize much of the potential of who they already were when we got to hold them for the very first time. 

There are so many wonderful books out there. One recent one that has had a profound influence on Fr.’s and my vision for our homeschooling, our ministry, and our family farm is called “The Family Economy”. It is a Protestant book, and is limited to the nuclear family, but it becomes even more poignant when this book is taken in conjunction with the spirit of the book “The Benedict Option,” and interpreted through the lens of Orthodoxy, to include Christian community. These two books have inspired Fr. and me in our community building and farm work at Ave Maria Farm in Wichita Falls, TX, where we have a ministry to help young people escape from the machine and return to clean, simple living, with the time-tested Orthodox rhythms of work and prayer. There is nothing like sharing food that you have raised and prepared together as a community.  

Our homeschooling focuses on helping each child delve deeply into their interests with a goal of future monetization of those interests. We also are blessed with lots of guests joining us for farm to table family meals at our huge table. Many of these guests share priceless insights with the whole family. For example, one of our guests completely changed the way we see weeds in the garden. Weeds are now fun tools to prevent soil erosion here or add minerals there, or perhaps another one is good for an herbal remedy or skincare. Community life is so rich and rewarding, and I love how people in community are free to be friends with people of any age, rather than only with people within their birth year. This organic socialization is a beautiful way to prepare children for the real world. 

There are so many fabulous curriculae out there. We have found that Ambleside Online, Scriptorium Writing (fabulous new curriculum written by Subdeacon Callum Lyda), and Math You See have met our needs well. However, I contend that the fun of homeschooling is that you don’t have to do things like public school. I feel that the largest part of my children’s education is liturgy, reading The Prologues from Ochrid at the breakfast table, devouring the countless totes full of picture books from the library, and taking trips inspired by those stories to bring the stories alive. The free association and cross-disciplinary possibilities available from going on rabbit trails is so much more memorable and poignant than stressing while checking off the boxes of a curriculum. The best advice we got for selecting curriculum is to find your mission statement, put it in a sentence or two, and weigh out any activity or class against that mission statement, outlining where/who you want your children to be as the end goal. Of course, anything worth doing is difficult: being an Orthodox Christian, being married, having children, and homeschooling. One thing that has helped me find joy is to rip out my microwave, and in its place, make a lovely little shrine with a statue of St. Elizabeth of Hungary, and icons of Saint Ita and Saint Morwenna, all of whom inspire me in the many areas I’m lacking, while I spend time cooking with them. 

If I were to share any wisdom from our homeschooling journey, it would be the advice my dear husband constantly encourages me with: to teach the children from a place of joy and Christ’s peace, and when you’re not there, in the words of St. Sophrony, “Stand on the edge of the abyss and when you feel that it is beyond your strength, step back and have a cup of tea.” May His peace and joy be with you on your journey! 

Meet the Matushkas: Mat. Melissa Naasko

Saint Emmelia Ministries is blessed to have a board of wise, loving Spiritual Advisors who help run our regional conferences and online events, provide guidance to local homeschoolers, and guide the vision & work of the ministry. Alongside them are their wives, who work tirelessly to support their husbands’ work, on top of educating their children. In this series, we are honored to introduce you to these exceptional women.

by Mat. Melissa Naasko

1. Please introduce yourself briefly.

Father and I have eleven children, six girls and five boys. It has been an interesting journey since we met in at the University of Colorado. We met in the student government office and had friends who just happened to be cousins. We hit it off immediately and here we are!

2. What did the discernment process for the priesthood look like for your family?

My husband was a philosophy instructor and worked with Catholic seminarians. One day, while the bishop was visiting, he asked my husband to come into the altar after liturgy. He asked him to consider the diaconate. We decided together that this would be a way for him to help serve our community. Later, when we lost our priest, the bishop called and asked him to consider the priesthood. At first, he was hesitant. He loved being a deacon. I am so glad that he decided to say yes because he loves being a priest even more.

3. How did you decide to homeschool? How did you decide what methods/curriculum/pedagogical approaches to use?

Our oldest was fascinated by reading and was reading early chapter books at four. I had started teaching him phonics in a haphazard way but it worked for him. There was an article on why some people were homeschooling in Parents Magazine and we started considering it. My mother bought us the books "What Your (blank) Grader Needs to Know" and we dove in. A mother in my local support group was graduating her youngest and gave me her well loved set of Charlotte Mason books and just started.

4. What are some practical ways that you balance ministry, homeschooling, homemaking, etc.?

We really believe that we are a tag-team. We have the same goals and we tag each other in and out to get everything done. There have been times when we had to divide and conquer and some of us will miss some services to be able to deliver lambs or calves or study for an exam and other times when we set everything aside so we can all be at Church. The best way for us to decide how to manage all the various demands is to consider what has the most consequences if not met and do this first down in importance to the thing of the least consequence. Sometimes we do it well and sometimes we don't but we try to do it together.

5. How do you recharge yourself to be a better person for those around you? How much time do you spend?

Now that my kids are older and not early risers, I get up before them and I knit with some coffee. I just enjoy the morning this way so much. When they were little, everyone had "Afternoon Nap". I did not care if they slept but they had to be quiet. I played the same classical music CD (it was about 50 minutes long) and when it was over, they could get up. I sometimes napped and sometimes read and often knitted but it was a critical time for me.

6. Not counting the Bible, what book has impacted you the most as a mother/teacher?

There are lots of parts of me and each has their own book. I would say that for my homeschooling journey, it would be "Designing Your Own Classical Curriculum" by Laura Berquest. I still use it. For my spiritual journey, it would be my Jordanville Prayer Book. It is so well used and looks like it is barely holding together but the worse it looks, the better I do. I could replace it but I have no plans to. Then there is Robert Louis Stevensen's "A Child's Garden of Verses" which I memorized, on my own, when I was little. I started reading every poetry book I could and collected them from thrift stores and just memorized enormous swaths of poetry. All my children started out in this book.

7. If there’s one thing you could tell your just-starting-out-homeschooling-self, what would it be?

Firstly, you don't have to be perfect but you do have to be consistent. Stick at it every day. Just keep going. Secondly, cultivate a culture of reading by always reading. Carry a book with you. Let your children see you read. Read aloud every day. If they can read and comprehend, they can learn anything they want.

8. What would is the most crucial subject homeschool beginners should focus on?

The three Rs, in fact, get Ruth Beechick's "The Three Rs" and just do that. You can make your own curriculum for young children. Just start and be consistent. You really don't have to be perfect or have the most fun curriculum. What you need to is to be consistent.

Meet the Matushkas: Kh. Anna Phelps

Saint Emmelia Ministries is blessed to have a board of wise, loving Spiritual Advisors who help run our regional conferences and online events, provide guidance to local homeschoolers, and guide the vision & work of the ministry. Alongside them are their wives, who work tirelessly to support their husbands’ work, on top of educating their children. In this series, we are honored to introduce you to these exceptional women.

by Kh. Anna Phelps

Please introduce yourself and give a little of your family’s background.

My name is Kh. Anna Phelps, and I've been married to Fr. John Phelps for 29 years. We have eight children and are from Alaska and moved to Goldendale, WA ten years ago. We moved specifically to work on growing the Antiochian mission here in town, just twelve miles from the Greek Orthodox Monastery of St. John the Forerunner, started by Elder Ephriam up in the mountains near here. Many of our friends from Alaska and California have become nuns at this monastery, and we are blessed to call Goldendale our home. We just married off our fifth child, and we have six grandkids, with two on the way. We don't "encourage" our kids to get married young, but we also don't discourage it either. We (along with their priest or spiritual father) have counseled our kids on a case-by-case basis when it came to getting married and at what age, depending on who they were marrying.

Father and I met in Alaska when I was 15 at the church that I grew up in Eagle River, AK. He was converting from his Presbyterian church while he was in college in Anchorage, AK after moving back from attending Hillsdale College for two years. Once he converted, we were friends for a few years and eventually both joined the Holy Cross house (like a discipleship house) in Eagle River, where we met and housed with Fr. Noah Bushelli and Fr. Peter Gilquist (Jr) and many other legendary humans.

We started courting and then he wanted to have a serious talk. So we went on our talk where he hit me with some hard questions. He wanted to be sure of a few things before we progressed any further. He wanted me to be a stay-at-home-mom, he wanted me to be a homeschool mom (he was homeschooled, and I was public schooled), and he wanted to be a priest some day and wanted me to be ok with that. These are all very big life decisions at a young age, but ultimately I agreed that I was ok with them all. Thus began our homeschool journey and journey to the priesthood. He was 24 and I was 19.

Hochooling was NOT my idea. Because of this I have a very different approach than most other homeschooling moms out there, who pour over the curriculum catalogs and jump at the chance to take their kids to the library. I do not like books, or even like the smell of books. Thus, we do things VERY differently at our house. Homeschool came WAY before the priesthood. My husband didn't become a priest until eith years ago, and we had our first baby 27 years ago. So I have been a homeschool mom for about 25 years and a priest wife for only 8 years.

What is your pedagogical approach/how do you choose curricula?

Homeschooling was difficult to wrap my head around mainly because I don't like to sit still for very long; I'd rather be outside building a fence, canning beans, buying goats, or sewing a quilt... sitting and teaching my kids lessons is almost like torture, unless it's very short and sweet. I used "Teach Your Kids to Read in 100 Easy Lessons" because my mom (who's a school teacher by trade) recommended it. I used Saxon Math because the school I went to when I was a kid was selling all of their old math books, so I bought them at a good price. I used them when I was a kid, and I always liked math. Finding a "good" English curriculum was more tedious and grueling because I don't love English and I can't spell worth a darn and I finally figured out that I don't like reading because I read at a 7th grade level (SUPER SLOW). So after 10 years or so of beating my head against a wall and watching my kids easily learn to read and love reading, I realized the kids are smart and they'll be fine, I just need to find a curriculum that works for ME, the lame mom who has no patience for curriculum catalogs.

In theory we were going to follow the Classical model of teaching but in reality we followed the "bare bones" and semi-unschooling methodology. I insisted they learn how to read first, then they would do their math religiously every day, then they'd be reading everything they could get their hands on, so that was never an "assignment," except when they got older I'd try to get them to read a bit of the Bible and saint stories every day, as well as history, and email me a summary. They would sing Byzantine chant in the choir; they would all do some sort of instrument or three (their choice and never forced); they would beg me to do art, so I sent them to my mom's for that. If they need science, I beg my sister to let them go to her house, and I'll pay her good money to teach them. They would do animal chores daily (except one daughter ,who would much rather clean the whole house and hold babies all day), and eventually in high school, they'd choose their classes: science, a foreign language (definitely key to helping them understand the English language), literature, math, history…and then graduate!

We never geared their school towards academics in particular, but never made them think they couldn't go to college. If they went to college, we were very clear on exactly what they'd be going for: college is too expensive and soul sucking to go for fun! The kids who could read well, I'd make them read Plato, Herodotus, St. John Chrysostym, classics, and dystopian novels that made them think. Or they'd do college classes and get an Associates degree in business admin. If they weren't at that level, they'd stick to the basics: daily lives of the saints, the Bible, and some sort of saint/historical book.

I don't have a name for my "pedagogical" approach. I'm embarrassed about it most of the time, but my kids have turned out so amazingly that I feel like it's important to tell people about this haphazard approach I have taken to teaching my kids, just so they know it is possible to be a really bad homeschool mom and have your kids learn despite you! My kids do school five days a week, and we take breaks in the summer and for Christmas, so if I just didn't make them do anything and if every day was a holiday, that would not work, but we always "do schoo,l" even if it's them doing their school in the other room while I work and me checking in while I'm making dinner, making sure they do their pesky English dictation and spelling words. My kids just have to tell me what parts to read to them, and I can do it. My kids know I don't like school either, so knowing that we're in it together maybe makes it ok.

If I had to go back in time I'd tell myself to not sweat it. The kids love learning; they just don't necessarily want to learn in the order in which you tell them to. They will continue learning after they graduate, as long as the learning process is enjoyable. My oldest is 27 and still learning new languages as her hobby. She's now taking high-level math courses, determined to become an aerospace engineer because she can do anything if she goes for it. I think me telling her that 1000 times finally sunk in.

Also, the saint stories are the base. You can build entire curriculums off the saints timeline and the maps of the countries in which they lived, you can learn about ancient emperors, good and evil, all in those great and tiny stores every day. Don't underestimate the saint stories, if that's all you can do for history, you're doing great!

I have graduated five kids so far, three to go.

How do you balance being a homemaker and homeschooler with your ministry (and, in your case, a homestead!)?

Balancing is a funny question. I also work and homeschool and we have a small homestead. Balance is for the birds... During fasting periods I cook more food, during the summer I cook less and garden more, during the school year I glance at the kids’ math to be sure they're doing it and attending some of their online classes. The 5 year old gets reading lessons from me from time to time and from her 11 year old brother from time to time. When I'm working, I ask my 17 year old to be sure to feed the kids and protect me from the 5 year old. Morning coffee with my husband is great if we can manage it before we start our days, and we end the day connecting again after the kids go to bed. That time is important, especially to him, but when he's gone I miss it, so it's grown to be important to me as well. Everyone has their "lists" for the day. Nobody is allowed to ask me for screen time unless EVERYTHING is done— chores AND school—and also it has to be dark out first (at least in the winter). If they ask about screen time but I discover they didn't do their English or animal chores, they're either grounded completely that day or their time gets cut in half. This way there's no drama, just natural consequences and I know they're getting done. My oldest is currently doing college courses before graduation, so she's on her own. I don't micromanage teenagers (ok, not anymore…as much) because they need the freedom to mess up their own education and I need the brain space to work and not worry about her school.

How do you recharge/keep going?

Recharging, what is that? It's hard to get away but we do occasionally. I really just like some good quiet time so I can cross stitch and listen to a book, and in the summer, spring and fall I escape outside to do yard work, bonfires, and rest my brain. When we moved here, I was desperate for human interaction so I'd go up to the monastery coffee shop and hang out with the sisters for a couple of hours. But now we have teens and young adult children and many people in our church, and I work doing real estate now, so that can be very stressful and mentally draining. Sometimes all I want to do is hide when I can hide and not listen to people's problems or help anyone. I should do my prayers more faithfully because that ACTUALLY recharges me like nobody's business, but having quiet time is golden. Having an empty house is a luxury item, but that never happens in a homeschooling home where both parents work at home.

What book has impacted you the most (besides the Bible)?

When I sold my Alaska business it was around the time my husband was becoming a priest. I had all this extra time on my hands and my sewing machine was not working. I started reading books with St. Paisios in them (The Guru, the Young Man, and Elder Paisios & Mountain of Silence). In both of these books the authors rubbed me the wrong way, and I didn't respect them, but I was loving the parts where St Paisios was teaching them. I then discovered that we had the book Athonite Fathers and Athonite Matters on our bookshelf. Who was that author? None other than St. Paisios. I read that amazing, humorous, down to earth, heartwarming little book and was completely head over heels in love with this man. I ran to the monastery and bought the Spiritual Councils set of five books (now there are six). The sisters that St. Paisios taught in Greece published these about what he taught them. Every day I looked forward to meeting with him while drinking my coffee. Some days I could only read a small bit because what he'd hit me with was so huge I needed to chew on it for a while. But usually it was so down to earth simple, like he was saying, "Anna, today I'm going to teach you how to be kind." Or how to trick yourself into thinking the correct way, etc. It was truly life changing for me, but I was also in a state of needing exactly that. I had been looking for something to help me shift my way of thinking towards good and stop thinking of bad, but I needed help to know how to do that. St Paisios is still my favorite and I am so thankful for those books and that time that I had to put my hobbies down and pick some truly good and life changing books. And those are the books that you want to take your time reading, so it helped that I'm such a slow reader. I also learned how to make the prayer ropes during this time and I'm really thankful for that as well.

Ideally homeschool moms would sit with their kids, let their kids make messes with art projects and be a much better mother than I have been. But I have to give myself grace for who God made me to be. I like to stay busy renovating a bathroom, writing recipes, being on the parish council as the cemetery sexton, joining in the building committee for our new church building project, organizing coffee hour groups, planning the Pascha feast, helping people buy houses, loving business and teaching my kids about business and helping my friends start businesses. I love working outside, specifically building my compost pile and making a good bonfire, I love organizing the goat milk, having enough milk for my husband to make cheese, making lasagna for five single guys out of ground lamb and rabbit sausage from our friends, tomato sauce from my garden, cheese that was gleaned from Azure—and feeding the young guys and my family with almost no cost and good ingredients! I do a little bit of everything ,but I'm no expert at anything, and now that I'm nearly 50 I am finally comfortable in my own skin. I know that as a priest wife, there are unlimited expectations, but I can't worry about everyone's expectations, and I just have to do what I can do to get everything done and hope that at the end of the day I can be somewhat supportive to my husband and be nice enough to my kids so they'll want to come home and visit me when they're adults. So far, it's mostly working.

How Orthodoxy Changed Me, Part 2

This is the second part of a series. Read the first part here.

by Londyn, Summer ‘24 Intern

When my mom first announced to my family that we would be attending a new church–that is, the Orthodox Church–I didn’t know what to feel, let alone to think. I was fourteen at the time and had never had any particular consistency with the denominations of my church; we mostly went wherever was closest to us. So, her announcement didn’t seem too out of the ordinary, and we didn’t put too much thought into it; we loved God and knew we should attend Church every Sunday. But what inspired this particular decision?

Since I was born, I’ve been a regular church attendee. I was baptized at six, alongside my dad, and later baptized again at age twelve in the Anglican Church. Between those years, we had tried a couple of other denominations, including Baptist and non-denominational. I appreciated the Anglican Church when I entered the building and experienced the service. But I had never heard much of the church, the only time being a brief mention of C. S. Lewis’s Christianity. Nonetheless, I have always been an eager learner so I was more than willing to participate in the service.

We quickly got plugged into the church and spent two years there. We believed we were all satisfied for approximately a year and a half of that time. But slowly, and yet again, we felt a nag, like something was missing. My mom would speak to me and ask questions about my views and thoughts of the church we participated in. Through our discussions, both full of positive and negative views, we almost considered attending a Catholic service. I was surrounded by quite a few Catholics, especially friends, and nearly thought this was a good idea—until I heard someone say to my mom, “Well, just choose whichever church feels right to you.”

Which church feels right? I thought to myself. This doesn’t seem sustainable. My family's “feelings” on different denominations have changed throughout the years and have always left us yearning for more. We can’t continue our walk with Christ based on our feelings.

However, we continued attending the Anglican Church for approximately another six months. Slowly, our church and priest were transitioning things to be more and more traditional. We switched from the more Protestant hymns and even popular-sounding Christian music to small components of chanting–something entirely new for me (and all of us in my family!). The first time I heard it in the service, I looked up from my service book; I definitely wasn’t expecting it. But I felt drawn to know, hear, and participate more. In my youth group, I heard a mention of Icons–another thing I had no clue about. I didn’t even know what to picture; I had never been exposed to that word! Oh, how much I had to learn.

In August of 2022, my mom made the abrupt decision I mentioned before. We were going to attend an Orthodox church and see what happened. She told my siblings and me that she had emailed the priest and that we would try out our first day that Sunday, which was only two days away. To be completely honest, I was upset. It felt too abrupt–we were happy enough at our Anglican church. Weren’t we?

And that’s just it. You can’t simply be “happy enough” or “just” satisfied in your love of Christ; it is so much deeper. The moment I stepped into the Orthodox Church, however, I was taken aback. The walls were adorned with icons; prayer, faith, and sincerity were all around me. Not only did I sense a holy presence, but I could see, smell, and fully participate in this glorious finding. I felt at home–even though I had just entered.

After five months of being attendees, we spoke with our priest and began catechism classes. Every hour per week we spent for months with him was like discovering my faith and love for Christ again. I found what I was missing. The truth and beauty of the Church, the Church that has been passed down for thousands of years! Glory be to God for this beautiful finding! I wanted to be chrismated and participate in the Holy Eucharist. And here is the start of when my spiritual life was entirely changed.

It took me months and, honestly, still years to come to become entirely accustomed to the services, the holy traditions, the feast days, and even the fasting. And through everything I have learned and experienced so far, I know that the missing part of me is finally found. I was always told that being a Christian is difficult, but I know, see, and believe that the sufferings here on earth we deal with are what make us stronger in our faith. I didn’t truly know what I believed in my faith for the first fourteen years; I listened to what I was told and never gave too much thought as to why there are so many offshoots of Christianity. But the moment I was exposed to the truth, I wanted nothing more than to always be surrounded by it.

Looking back, I wish that I was always exposed to the beauty of the Church and, if you’ve read my previous post, the beauty of homeschooling. However, the journeys that I went through are just the start of my life. The base I have been given is a strong foundation that I pray to keep for the rest of my earthly life. May God grant us all many years!

How Homeschooling Changed Me, Part 1

by Londyn, Summer ‘24 Intern

In just a few months, I will enter the ninth year of my homeschooling journey. My mother pulled me out of school at the end of second grade, and since then she has always been my favorite teacher.

The adjustment to attending a public school and switching to a classical education those “many, many” years ago was a slow process. On top of the rules at school that made my mom uncomfortable (why wasn’t she allowed to visit me during the days?), I experienced and saw bullying. My mom barely knew what I was taught during the long eight hours I was away from her, and I didn’t see my siblings as much as I would have liked. By the time I woke up in the morning, got ready, had breakfast, and raced to the bus stop, I already felt a longing for the comfort my mom has always provided me. Hours later, at lunch time, I would wonder why I couldn’t be at home enjoying a simple lunch with my family. Instead, I was crushed in a huge lunch hall with hundreds of loud and disrespectful children.

I had friends that I loved, so I was comfortable. Looking back, though, I know I wasn’t thriving. Whether or not my mom could fully sense my thoughts and feelings, she knew something was up. And though it took time for her to convince my dad this was the best option for me, years later, my family can’t imagine a different path. Homeschooling changed me.

I can’t truthfully say that I remember my first year of school at home crystal clear. I can say, however, that I was happy. Something was different—did I connect the dots as to what had changed? Maybe yes, maybe no. But simply looking back at the pictures my mother took that year, I see so much joy: my siblings and myself, as we sat around our dining table, listening to classical stories she would read aloud, munching on muffins we had made that morning, and sipping tea in pretty china. We studied the art of Van Gogh, Turner, and Constable; we listened to and discussed classical music that has been passed down for centuries. I believe I was exposed to more truth, beauty, and goodness that year than I had been handed my entire life in public school! And since then, my love for education has only grown. 

In all that I have shared, I have not dramatized my adoration for my home education; it is all true. I have not, however, mentioned the tears. And yes, there were tears (over something I now plan on majoring in college – Mathematics!) however, not in its entirety. I have always had a hankering for math, but my mother and I must have thought that long division (of all things!) would be the death of me. 

I wanted to give up; I was tired and frustrated. But my mom taught me something that day that has stayed with me all these years. Don’t give up. And so I listened; I tried. It took weeks and weeks for me to finally master the “Dirty Monkeys Smell Bad” (divide, multiply, subtract, bring down). But once I pushed through and finished, I felt accomplished. I had done something. 

As I finish up my last few years of home education and prepare for my away-from-home college studies, I remember where I came from. I remind myself of the beginning; the reason I truly love learning. Why am I going to college? To further that desire I have. To know and learn as much as I can: knowledge is a gift from God, a gift I want to nourish. 

In the second part of this post, I will dive deeper into something that took me longer to find than my search for wisdom–my search for and conversion to the Orthodox faith. Knowing and having a desire for truth began with an education at home; my first step into the Church has only strengthened this.

Those few words that my mom shared with me that day have stuck with me greatly: Don’t give up. Whatever it is that I am facing (often a tad more challenging than long division!) I know that if I make up my mind that I will do something, I will do it. I don’t let the words of others distract or discourage me. By being surrounded by such a beautiful, loving, and inspirational woman who gave me this education, I have also been given a yearning for some of the greatest gifts: knowledge, love for Christ, and truth. 

Read Londyn’s conversion story here!

My Gratitude For Journeying Through Lent As A Homeschooler

By Anya, Fall ’23 Intern

“The only thing in his sock drawer is a sandwich!” my brother said as he frantically prepared for school one morning. It was Holy Week, and he was looking for socks. He couldn’t find any in his dresser, so my mom told him to look in his brother’s drawers. He found only a sandwich, forgotten by our exhausted brother one night after services. We were trying to juggle the demanding work of private school with the many services we had during that week.

For us Orthodox Christians, the climax of the liturgical year is the Feast of Feasts—the celebration of the Resurrection of Christ. Preparing for Holy Week and Pascha is a very important season, as we focus on our spiritual growth through prayer, abstinence, alms, and confession. It is a blessing that, as homeschoolers, we are able to arrange our days and weeks to focus on Christ, His Church, and what He did for us. We can adjust our family schedules to prepare for and go to weekday services. For instance, we celebrate Presanctified Liturgy on Wednesdays and Fridays, and before each of these, we are asked to abstain from eating to receive communion. Often, school days can be tough and draining, and trying to fast and spiritually prepare for liturgy on top of homework and extracurricular activities is especially challenging. I cannot recall how often we had to rush home from a long day at private school and cram in all our school work before going to church. What a difference homeschooling made for us! The flexibility allows us to plan our lessons and workload around church.

As I ponder celebrating and participating in the Lenten season, there are many things that I am grateful for.

I am grateful for the flexibility we have as homeschoolers during a time of year when our schedule rarely fits into the world’s. We live in an increasingly secular world, and the bit of Christianity that is around us is very Western in its orientation and calendar. Dates for Lent, Holy Week, and Pascha (Easter) rarely align between East and West, and on the rare occasions they do, our observances and focus during this time vary significantly from those of our neighbors. The flexibility of homeschooling allows our family to balance our call to fasting, repentance, prayer, and moderation without worrying about how to mesh these priorities with those of public or private schools.

I am grateful that during this time of preparation in the Lenten season, my family and I can take advantage of flexibility in scheduling. We can schedule time to help the church prepare in other ways. Since parishes have more services and people attending during this season, the church might need more cleaning and help with making and putting out service books, scraping wax off the floor, decorating the tomb, preparing candle sleeves, etc.

I am grateful for my family during this time, and for the unique things we do and the traditions we share. Many of us go to choir practice together. We make kulich (Pascha Bread); we visit the Russian store to buy all our favorite feasting foods for our Pascha baskets, often making Pascha baskets for our friends, too. Most importantly, each service can spark so many conversations with family about Theology, the life of Christ, and the lives of saints from hymns and homilies.

I am grateful that in the eight to nine days leading up to the Feast of Feasts, we have no school scheduled. We know, in advance, our schedule of services and know that we want to do very little that week other than focus on the meaning, lesson, and beauty of each service, and how it helps prepare us for what we are about to celebrate. On Lazarus Saturday, our focus shifts from ourselves to Christ. On Palm Sunday, we remember the Entrance of Our Lord into Jerusalem after His miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead. Early in Holy Week, at the Bridegroom Matins services, we learn from the Parable of the Ten Virgins, which calls for preparedness at the Second Coming. On Holy Wednesday, we are anointed and receive the sacrament of Holy Unction. On Holy Thursday, we go through the gospels and hear the story of Christ’s Passion. On Holy Friday, we contemplate the burial of Christ and His sufferings with solemnity. On Holy Saturday, we celebrate the beautiful Vesperal Divine Liturgy of St. Basil when the altar cloths are changed from black to white, and we first hear of the Resurrection.

I am grateful on Pascha, as we all are, that Christ has risen from the dead and has trampled down death by death, bestowing life to those in the tombs. We celebrate and partake in all the richness and beauty that is Pascha, and break the fast.

I am grateful that during Bright Week, we don’t just forget about Pascha and move on as we would if we would have had school that week. Instead, the feast continues, and we can go to all Bright Week services and learn from them as well.

The story I shared about my brother reminds me of the many demands we have during the time of Lent and Holy Week and how hectic it can get. At that time, my brothers and I were attending a private school, and much of our time and schedule was dictated by their Roman Catholic calendar, which only occasionally overlapped with that of the Orthodox Church.

When we began homeschooling, one of the gifts it gave our family was the ability to focus on learning through experiences. The flexibility of homeschooling allows us to experience, in its fullness, all the Church has to offer the faithful during Lent and Holy Week. It is not only a time of year to learn and experience, it is a time when we more earnestly live and see the gift God has given us because He loves us and wants us to live in eternity with Him.

I am grateful I don’t miss out on these blessings which I am grateful for.

Reflections from a New Homeschooler, Part 2

by Caroline, Fall ‘23 Intern

Hello, I’m Caroline!

I made the unusual switch from public school to homeschool for high school. Typically, many teens decide to do the vise-versa, wanting a “normal high school experience.” There seems to be this common belief that you can’t have a standard and exciting education when you’re homeschooled. I’m here to talk about why I switched and how such stereotypes terrified me at first.

In 8th grade, I went to a public school where I was not having the best experience. I tried to convince myself that I was being overdramatic and that everything was fine, when in reality, it wasn’t. I was “in” with the popular group and quietly watched all of the bullying going on behind the scenes. If I dared to speak up, I’d be kicked out, becoming one of the loners. My morals were also completely different from everyone else, as I was one out of three Christians in my class. It was difficult to stand up for my beliefs when no one could agree to disagree.

The material my public school used also had an obvious agenda shoved into it. We couldn’t just learn without being slowly re-educated to fit into their scheme. Additionally, I was not allowed to take the classes that were right for me, all in the name of being “fair” and “equal”. In my English class, we never read full books–only articles summarizing them.

The stereotypes concerning homeschoolers turned me away from the idea of switching to homeschooling at first. My friends often made snarky comments that reinforced this fear into me even more. I was agitated by the thought of having no friends and being lonely. I also was concerned about losing my companions and needing to make new ones. I had no idea how someone would make friends with online schooling; it was a foreign concept to me. In addition, I thought I would have to give up my extracurriculars, like theatre and band. I loved band and acting; there was a sense of community, a shared passion for these activities.

All of these fears were based on inaccurate notions that were pushed on me. In reality, through homeschooling I have made so many amazing and supportive friends that will last for my lifetime. I’ve been able to meet many of my classmates in person and have formed inseparable bonds with them. I would have never been able to construct these friendships if I hadn’t left my old school. Online schooling has also opened up many new opportunities to try new things and work with more people. Since my schedule is flexible, I’ve been able to find new hobbies, such as playing guitar and cultivating sourdough. I’m also able to travel more often and sign up for more programs.

Homeschooling has given me the freedom to sign up for the classes I want, which wasn’t possible in my public school. I love science and math, and I’m finally able to take the harder classes that challenge me. I can also take courses that are more oriented to my interests, such as iconography and meteorology. Furthermore, homeschooling has allowed me to branch off from my previous friendships--which were often false and unhealthy--and form friendships with people who genuinely care. I’m a lot less shy and generally much happier.

Overall, the impact that homeschooling has had on me is indubitable and has brought me closer to God and the Church. I’m very grateful for all the experiences that it has bestowed upon me.

Why Do We Homeschool? Part 2

by Cornelia Oprea

Read part 1 here.

My child, just read!

In the Prologue of Ochrid, St. Nikolai tells a story of a monk talking to St. Arsenius about reading the Holy Scriptures. If you want to read the whole story, you can find it in the reflections for May 8th. The exhortation given by St. Arsenius to the monk is to “just read.”

The centrality of our educational philosophy parallels the ethos of this same idea. While the exchange centered on the power of scriptures despite our lack of understanding, it has a similar mechanical process to the way we learn in general. We put in the work, and the results will come.

“Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established.” (Proverbs 16:3)

Reading well-written books works as the seeds in the Parable of the Sower. They are the seeds we sow with a proleptic view of our children as grown servants of God. As such, their academic performance is not dependent on a benchmark imposed by a restrictive set of skills arbitrarily delineated, but a thorough guidance to a way of thinking and behaving that is aligned with the will of God.

Our homeschooling is not tied to a room at home, or a set of materials per se. We take our books with us no matter where we are, and we explore libraries or bookstores that we discover along the way. Our boys equally learn from museums, interactions with people we encounter along the way, hikes where we explore God’s creation. These habits we maintain whether we are home or traveling.

One of the most beautiful parts of the path we are on is that we can learn through discovery. And what could be more beautiful to discover than Orthodox communities across the United States. As part of our logistical travel planning, we look up churches that we can attend. I send out a quick email to the priest letting him know who we are and when we would like to attend. More importantly, we let him know if we are prepared to receive communion or not. Most of the time, we have a few options to choose from, and we tend to pick parishes that have services in English.

This has been the most humbling part of our adventures: while in different jurisdictions, with many or few parishioners, multiple priests or traveling priests, every single parish we have visited, every community we have encountered, received us with open arms and showed us beautiful hospitality.

Lessons learned, for now

Besides the inevitable lesson of learning to trust God, the biggest lesson we have learned is that our sins follow us no matter where we are.

We struggle with our prayer rule at home, we do so on the road as well. We struggle fasting, we do so on the road also.

But as we move towards salvation with any struggle, any fall is just an opportunity to rise and try again. So I will share with you a few safeguards we have put in to help with said falling.

God loves order, and so do I

Most that know me know that I live by my handy-dandy notebook, with my lists and schedules. And here we are, uprooted from routine, never knowing from one day to another what will follow. For a while, I had to fight the temptation to give in. Traveling can be chaotic. At home, we have our prayer corner and the habit of starting and ending the day congregating by our icon corner. Traveling, our established routines get removed, and we are faced with forcing the will. Thank God for technology! A friend taught me to set an alarm. So, we do. If my husband is traveling by himself, we facetime and say our prayers together, which also helps him stay grounded.

Fasting on the road is another challenge. Living on a steady diet of gas station food, while appealing on vacations, loses its appeal when you spend a significant amount of time on the road. We do not have an eiconomia from fasting, and while it took us a while to understand why not, the solution was simple. We prepare our meals and instead of grabbing whatever from wherever, we eat our hummus sandwiches and survive to say “thank God for another beautiful day!”

Overall, the solution to a balance between the chaos of the unknown and the order of obedience is flexibility. I still plan our days in 30-minute intervals, and while our home routine allows me to have a printed schedule with color coded intervals, on the road, I can adjust those 30 minutes to allow us to stop and enjoy the view and God’s creation. When you reach the peak after an intense hike, and you stop and look into the vastness of the horizon, the beauty of His love overwhelms you not just in a spiritual sense, but in a palpable, physical sense. Such a sense of joy I have only felt in one other instance: in those rare moments when you are not just attending, but where you live the liturgy in the presence of our brothers and sisters in Christ and of all the Saints.

Abraham never went back to Ur

As Abraham never once looked back on all the comforts of living in the greatest city of his time, we hope to allow our children to never look back at their childhood without a sense of having grown up in a family of sinners that traveled to adjust themselves to a continual search for Christ.

To Him be the Glory!

Why Do We Homeschool? Part 1

by Cornelia Oprea

Why do we Homeschool?

It is Holy Week, and like most of us my family is pushing through, attending daily services. Only complication: my husband and I work on average 50 hours a week, and our kids attend public school. By Thursday, my eldest, a second grader, is falling asleep in class. He tells his concerned teacher that he is tired because we have been in church every evening. To which his teacher replied: “Tell your mom school is more important than church.”

Hearing that from my child did something to me. I worked for many years in public education, and encountered numerous children who, for example, attended church till midnight every Wednesday evening. My colleagues and I worked around that, just as we had to work with kids that worked every day after school or took care of their siblings while their parents worked.

While social interactions my kids had at school were not always ideal, or academics were not always pursued in the same way I would have liked, that one interaction between my son and his teacher made me understand that my children were raised by people who did not see the world as I did, and that I had no control over that. We wanted to be free to attend as many church services as possible, without my children suffering the consequences because of our decisions.

The more we paid attention, the more we noticed that it wasn’t just school. In an abundance of care for the social well being of our children and in a very Orthodox approach to life-working to do everything we do to the best of our ability-our family, as well as most families we knew, were in constant conflict between church attendance and children’s activities. From debate, to dance, to martial arts, you name it, our children had other priorities in their daily life that superseded worship. So much so that morning prayers were done in the car, rushing to make it before the last school bell, so much so that we read only the fourth prayer in the evening.

Many years ago, my husband and I attended a workshop at an Orthodox convention, where a representative of the Department of Education of the Greek Orthodox Archdiocese went over their findings from a study related to church adherence and its dismal findings. The question most clergy in attendance had was related to competing with children’s activities.

The Alternative

It has been many years since, and this Pascha, we were at Saint Constantine and Elena in Indianapolis. The church is one of the first Romanian churches in America. Dedicated and consecrated in 1911, the church has a majority convert congregation, but also includes fourth-generation members from the original founders. A true vision of the future of Orthodoxy in America.

My children would never have experienced such beauty were it not for homeschooling.

How We Got Here

The words from the Epistle of Barnabas resound: "The way of light, then, is as follows. If anyone desires to travel to the appointed place, he must be zealous in his works." For our family, travel is not just a figure of speech.

The onset of the 2020 lockdown remains etched in our memories—and while most remember the trials, my family cannot be more thankful for the blessings. As my husband devoted tireless hours in a Cancer Research hospital's clinical lab in Houston, grappling with unprecedented challenges, I faced the demands of a new school role in my public educator career of over a decade. Amidst this chaos, our first-grader and third-grader navigated the complexities of virtual learning, offering glimpses into the intricacies of remote education. Amidst the hardships, a silver lining emerged: the opportunity for our family to bond and cherish precious moments together. Daily walks and shared reading moved us to an increased comfort in being able to say farewell to virtual meetings and marked the beginning of a transformative phase.

There is no other way to describe how we were able to transition into our new life but through God’s providence.

My husband’s change in career path and obedience to God in pursuing this new career is a story on its own. And to go into too many details would either give my husband undue credit or trivialize what we perceived as God’s hand working in our lives. Suffice it to say that walking away from our professional identity helped us understand that this life we had created came across as if it was of our own merit. We were walking into a life where whatever step we took, it evidently and unequivocally depended on God.

So, we zealously travel in the path God sets out before us.

Our homeschooling came as a package. My husband travels for work, and the boys and I join him as often as we can.

Read part 2 here!

It's Our Job to Ruin Our Children's Education

by Kh. Anna Phelps

My name is Kh. Anna Phelps, married to Fr. John Phelps here in Goldendale, WA at Ss. Joachim and Anna Orthodox Mission. I am currently working as a real estate agent after my husband has gone to full-time priesthood. We are originally from Wasilla, AK where we had our first 7 children. We began exclusively homeschooling them there. 

I love to write stories about our life in Alaska; homesteading; homeschooling; home birthing; business; entrepreneurship; houses; finding out that Christ truly loved me; breaking myself of soap operas, then TV, then talk radio, then Facebook/Instagram, and finally radio music. I love writing recipes, specifically good fasting ones (hopefully I can write a cookbook, God willing!), and generally giving people practical advice on all of these topics–oh and making sure to include lots of run-on sentences! I have dreamed of being the next Orthodox Christian version of “Dear Abby”, not that I’d be very good at it: I seem to love sticking my foot in my mouth and have strong opinions on most everything....much to my husband’s chagrin.

Today, I am writing the story of how my husband tricked me into homeschooling our kids.

Then:

I was raised in a rural Alaskan middle-class household in a beautiful cedar-sided home that my dad mostly built himself. We shared a well with our neighbor, and that good little well produced one gallon of water per minute, but we were rich in house, in view, and in community. There were hundreds of acres of woods behind our house that were completely untouched, so exploring the birch- and spruce-filled woods with my best friend was a regular pastime. Across the street from our house was the huge church lawn where all the neighborhood kids would gather after dinner every bright summer night to play soccer until the church bells rang at 9pm, and we all went home. 

To say that my upbringing was idyllic is an understatement. Most of our neighborhood went to the same church and those that were committed to the Truth joined themselves to the Orthodox Church when I was ten years old. I was blessed to attend our local church school, but when I entered seventh grade I had to attend the large public middle school that was about a half-hour bus ride away. My shy self struggled only knowing one other girl from my elementary class, unlike the other kids who were joining the large school with their other classmates from their larger elementary schools. After getting dumped by my “only friend” at school and crying most nights, dreading the next day, my parents relented and let me attend a smaller Christian school that could offer middle school grades. I attended there for the second semester but went back to the public school for 8th grade where I discovered I had made friends after all–they even asked me where I had disappeared to the year before! I was able to enter high school with a group of non-popular but kindhearted friends. Although high school was socially difficult, I was able to survive. Graduating from highschool was the second best day of my life.

Two years later:

Raymond and I were in the first Holy Cross house (1995-96) up in Eagle River, AK with Fr. Paul Jaroslaw as our priest. We were courting and quickly getting serious about marriage. He wanted to go “talk to me” about some things before we could continue our relationship. I was nervous about this talk: what is so serious that we have to have a *talk*? 

We hopped into the car, and it took us up to our favorite scenic drive along the rapids of the Eagle River. We wound our way up into the Chugach Mountain range, and he began, “I would want you to be a stay-at-home mom.”

My heart almost exploded out of my chest: this is what I WANTED to do with my life. I never wanted a career, and here’s this man telling me that he can provide for me and a family and saying that he didn’t want me to go out and make money, just to simply stay home and raise our children. I readily agreed that this was a great idea.

“I want you to homeschool our children.”

“Oh no....” I said in my head. I had NEVER considered homeschooling my future children. So, I thought briefly about my own school experience: not great, definitely not a “good” place to send kids, between the foul language and the rampant sex-before-marriage problem. Simple logic made me quickly realize that I would not want to subject my future children to such things. 

“But I never have wanted to be a teacher” was my next thought. I said so to my future husband. He assured me we would do it together and it wouldn’t be as hard as it sounds. I slowly agreed that this would be a wise decision in the end.

“I’d like you to be willing to be a priest’s wife; I think that I’ll be a priest someday.” My heart sank. Doesn’t he know? 

“But I don’t even like going to church!” I blurted out. “I don’t know how I could ever be a priest’s wife! My sister should be a priest's wife, not me; she actually likes going to church!”

He said, “It’s ok, you don’t have to like going to church; you just have to bring the kids to church and support me.”

“Are you sure? I am not pious or any of those things that priest wives should be. I would be a disappointment.” However, deep down, hidden away in my heart, I knew that I longed for God, and I had high hopes that someday I would grow up and get serious about life and put off the “lukewarm self” that I knew me to be.

“It’s ok, it’ll still be a long time before I’m ordained. I also will need to grow up a lot. I just want a wife who’s ok with me being a priest and knows that the church will require a lot of me and my time.”

Thankfully, my parents raised me to be extremely independent. My mom had convinced me that I would need a career to help the family and that wives can no longer afford to stay at home. She taught us kids to work hard and work every day, I knew life was about working. I believed her and believed that I was facing a life of being a mom and juggling a job like she always had. So, the idea of being just a mom and being supportive of his priesthood didn’t seem nearly as daunting. I reminded him that I wouldn’t like going to church, but I’d be ok with him liking to go to church. I reluctantly agreed that I would support him becoming a priest someday.

Now:

Raymond is now Father John and he has been a priest for six years. We have graduated our four older children with high school diplomas from our homeschool named St. Paisios Academy. We have had a difficult but fruitful marriage of 26 years. I don’t hate going to church, but I’m not the best at it. I do love reading spiritual books now and I try my hardest not to be lukewarm. Ironically, I have a part-time career as a real estate agent; and I previously started, ran for 15 years, and sold a successful mailbox business. 

I have discovered a few key tricks to successful homeschooling–namely find curricula that work for the teacher first, then secondarily for the child; encourage the child to love learning and school won’t be a struggle...but some subjects might be difficult and that’s ok. My main piece of advice, I learned from my husband: “It’s our job to screw up our kids’ education, not the public school’s.” Once you stop being afraid of messing up and accept the fact that you WILL make mistakes and miss a lot, you stop being afraid and just let them soak it all in. If you forget to teach them something, they will ask you later, “why didn’t you teach me (fill-in-the-blank).” You then shrug and tell them go ahead and learn about it, and they will.